You have drunk a bottle of whisky, 4 bottles of wine, 20 bottles of Japanese beer, wandered around The JAE campsite. Lost my car keys and eaten raw chicken from a BBQ
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You have drunk a bottle of whisky, 4 bottles of wine, 20 bottles of Japanese beer, wandered around The JAE campsite. Lost my car keys and eaten raw chicken from a BBQ
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You've never got drunk till you have a wattsapp video call with your mates during lock down....
Drink a ltr of captain Morgan spiced, over half a bottle of Bombay saffire, 2 punk ipa,...
Pass out on kitchen floor with video still connected for friends to screen grab, have wife find call and continue the conversations over your lifeless body and leave you on the floor...
Only to go bed at 3am to vomit quite violently, but not wake up and have to peel the pillow from your face like it's some kind of bondage mask...
Or so I hear
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You've never got drunk till you have puked and shat at the same time.
I am Scottish, you lot sound like your in drinking primary school
You end up in hospital for 3 days.
I used to get so drunk i needed google maps the next day just to find out what time i got home, not to mention where i went trying to find my way home.
Many many years ago myself and a mate decided to go down to Carlisle for a night out, stay in one of the overnight cheep hotels ect.
Nowt major there. Anyway we got so pished he decided to go home half way through the night and got a taxi to take him the 35 or so miles back home - bit of a flid.
But me... naa i kept at it... hard.
Got back to the hotel and was fine ect... but on a pished level i was at say 7 out of 10, where a 5 is usually a visit to the morgue for most folk.
Next morning i stotted down to the train station for the first one back up the road but needed a shite, i couldnt put this one off as it was knocking on the door and was about to use its own keys to get out so i waddled off to the station bogs.
Well....
What i did down the pan in one of those cubicles... it will haunt me for the rest of my life. About 3 metric tons of plopsy in all forms from runny to solids decided they wanted out right now - it was.. well it was like in Startrek the motion picture, you know the bit at the beginning where the transporters are iffy and two poor crewmen are turned into ... "well what we got back didnt live long" - thats what was running through my head .... and out my ass. I could even imaging that "scream" as a poor cleaner came in later.
I dropped about half my body weight in one go, spent about 10 mins trying to flush this now dead "lifeform" away - got ma botty relatively clean as well all things considered.
I left he bogs but only when no one was looking, got on the train 5 mins later and to this day never want to go back into that bog again.
When i got home i vowed never to drink again, well for at least 3 days....
My worst train experience was after an absolute tanker of a session out in Brum. Got on one of Sir Richard's finest the day after to come back to London and threw up ~8 times in his bogs in the hour and a quarter I was sat on it. One of the last times I obviously didn't hit the lock button on the door very well as someone opened the door to find me throwing up a fresh bottle of lucozade all over the bowl, and the floor, and the wall; just about everywhere actually
Never had a really bad train experience apart from falling asleep and missing my stop by about 1:30 hours..
My worst Hotel experience however.
After an office Xmas party, we decided to go clubbing afterwards. Many many shots afterwards.......
Woke up in a “Formula 1” ‘Hotel’ in a bunk bed with bars on the windows. For a moment I thought “what the **** did I do that got me arrested?”
They are the crappiest if crap Hotels
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One of the Scotland v someone fiba games i went to years back at hampden - on the way back the two carrage shitbox on wheels was overpacked with massively pissed supporters. I was pretty sober so went for a piddle.
I mind opening the door to the shitter and seeing 4 guys inside all busy reliving themselves desperately.
1 pissing in the bog, one in the sink, one trying to get his dribble into the bog alongside 1 and the last guy just urinating on the floor.
I decided to hold it in for the next 30 mins.
Ok .... Train Wreck story
Got on a train at Windsor for Waterloo, totally trollied... it was Royal Ascot week, plenty of fitties...
Now the BlackBerry Playbook had an awesome amp and speakers plus Wolfson DAC so put a mix on. You can see where this is going.
Some very young girls (I was close to 40 so any young girl around 18 is very young )....
I was so hammered I couldn’t get it up, she was so hammered she puked all over her friends hair.
She may have been pretty, but she may also have looked like Susan Boyle, I have no idea
Lesson do not get on a train drunk
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