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Thread: how to have a decent wedding day... but not bankrupt yourself in the process...?

  1. #1
    Guest spm_steve's Avatar
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    how to have a decent wedding day... but not bankrupt yourself in the process...?

    Well after 6yrs I finally got around to proposing to my girlfriend a week ago. She's delighted and has begun the 'I want this, that and the other' with her sisters and friends.I'm fine with that but,

    .. My god the internet Demands huge wodges of dosh MUST be spent on one day.. It's putting me right off the idea now! Average cost of a UK wedding is apparently 18k(!). No way can we manage that. Half that seems too much!

    As much as marriage will be a big event in our lives we've a mortgage and all the other things that common sense suggests our money should be spent on. Fortunately she gets this too.


    From those of you who've managed it, any advice on wedding planning on a modest budget would be awesome about now - just to reassure Amanda and I that its possible!

    Thanks all.

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    We're getting married in 9 weeks, and I've managed to plan our entire wedding for around £2.5k (thats with about 60 guests). Granted we are able to hold the reception at Nath's mum and dad's place so that saved us loads, but it is more then doable. I'd say if you don't mind having a civil wedding as opposed to a church, then you can easily have a really nice day for around £5-6k.

    Best advice I can give your new fiancé, don't go to wedding dress shops for the dress - you don't have to anymore. I got a custom made, stunning dress online for £275. Point her here: www.dressfirst.com.

    Hope that helps, and congrats

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    Guest -ghost-'s Avatar
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    Well all the people i know that spent silly money are now getting divorced and going down the very bitter path.

    My friend recently got married cost him about 2k rather than hire a wedding venue hire a room as you mention wedding you get wedding tax like jdm tax just 10 times more.

    Pull in as many favours as you can from cake to photos to invites.

    Hire suites unless you already have them.

    Don't get caught up in the female version of Willy waving over who's got the most expensive or the best dress, venue. Happens on Facebook all the time.

    Make a budget and be strict with each other offer it so no oh it's only another 50 or 100 quid ect.






    Tho me and the misses i doubt will never get married just seems like who can out class who and a way for blokes to loose everything if either party decides to call it a day. Yeah maybe I'm not the best person for this topic

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    Guest irishwhale's Avatar
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    Not married but.....

    Was best man to a wedding a few years back. They had it in Zakynthos on the Balcony Hotel (http://www.balconyhotel.gr/). They invited close friends and family. They gave everyone about 1 year's notice so those could plan a holiday around it. I think the total guests came to about 30 and they had 3 kids along with them. The dresses, suits, hotel hire, car hire, dinner, ceremony, photos, drink, DJ, Suite in hotel, late bar, flights for all 5 of them came to around 5-6k. They loved it, the photos were brilliant, as you may see from their views, all the guests had an amazing time and the Greek hospitality is exceptional!

    They also had a small reception for those who couldn't make it when they came back to Ireland, got the dress and suits out again and had a quick meal and drinking session. They displayed all the photos from the day and nobody felt left out.

    It's all relative though - what do you really want from a wedding? Do you want ALL of your friends and relatives? I'm not married BUT am at the stage where being invited to about 5-6 weddings a year...I've been to 25K weddings and 5K weddings. I prefer the smaller more intimate crowd to be honest, you will have everyone you want in that room, there's less awkwardness amongst guests as they all pretty much know each other and can enjoy it.

    Oh, and Congratulations!!

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    Banned sideways14a's Avatar
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    Not married but have been to lots of weddings, and the bigger they are the shitter they feel.

    Imho, registry office and a big party somewhere normal is better than some crap 20 grand blow out that will leave you skint for the next 5 years and arguing.

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    Guest Yakko's Avatar
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    Getting married this year.

    I can't comment on this thread, it's been horrifically expensive.

    Good luck!

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    Guest frisbee's Avatar
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    Go old school? Knock her out with a club and drag her back to your cave by her hair.

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    Just remember it's all about celebrating your love for each other with your close friends and family and you'll be fine! Tips would be don't pay wedding tax, be resourceful and have fun.

    An example of this is booking a car. If you book an executive 'taxi' they'll charge you their normal rate plus a bit to put the ribbon on (we paid £60) whereas if you book a wedding taxi you pay wedding tax for potentially exactly the same sort of car!

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    Guest spm_steve's Avatar
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    Thanks for comments so far guys (and girl).

    The only wedding's I could compare ours with we for two friends with wildly different spending ability to us. So there shall be no 'willy-waving'. We just want 'good-for-what-we-can-afford'.
    Its good to know it can be significantly cheaper then what the websites and magazines suggest.

    We aren't planning on a church venue (both atheist's + neither of us christened).. Though not short of some fantastic local venue's in the New Forest I suspect price will rule the majority out. Racking my brains to think of 'alternate' venues but drawn a blank thus far.

    Regarding wedding size, modest but Amanda's immediate family is disconcerting large and though my family is smaller I have a group of close friends who I wouldn't think about leaving out.

    Favour-wise currently I think we can sort out cake, transport, photography, invites and UK short honeymoon for very little extra.

    Keep it coming tips welcomed.

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    Don't pay for the venue and haggle massively on the food and drinks package - lots of venues will be happy to make their money off this

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    Guest rd_jon's Avatar
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    Congratulations.

    When I got married we were lucky enough to have a pretty big budget, so we ended up spending silly money. If we were to do it all again we have both said we would do a lot of things differently.

    - Don't invite anyone you don't truly want there. Close friends and family. I invited some family members so as to not seem rude, but I couldn't have cared less if they weren't there.

    - I don't know how much a civil ceremony would be, but the church wasn't that expensive. That being said, my Grandpa has been involved with the church for decades, so we might have been given a discount...

    - Think outside the box for the venue. Try somewhere that doesn't normally cater to weddings, that way you avoid the "wedding tax" mentioned above. My mate got married in his local church then had the reception at the local working man's club. They had a massive finger buffet which was all prepared and sorted by family members. I think they fed over 200 guests (afternoon reception and evening party) for something like £200 - £300. And the drinks were cheap in the club

    - Make as much as you can yourself, or call in help from friends and family. My best mate's wife got all her friends round to help with the invitations, place settings, favours etc. They had a load of wine and a laugh one weekend, got the whole lot sorted for a few quid.

    - Remember that this is about you and your fiance. Don't do anything that is not for you, it's just a waste of money. We had a sweetie bar at our reception. The wife loves old school sweets so we thought this would be a great idea. We never managed to get to it Total waste of money.

    - You will find the whole day will fly by, and by the end of it you won't remember half of what happened. If you can afford it, get a videographer to record as much as possible. Even if you get a few friends to record things as they are happening - you getting ready, your fiance getting ready, arriving at the venue etc etc. You will only see about 25% of what goes on that day, so being able to watch it later is well worth it if you can.

    - See if you can get friends or family to pay for some things as a wedding gift. When my sister got married her in-laws paid for the photographer as the wedding gift.


    Can't think of anything else the now. The main thing I would say is to make sure it's what you and your fiance want. Hope you have a cracking wedding.

  12. #12
    Guest auz200sx's Avatar
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    Best advice I can give recently getting married myself

    Keep it simple stupid

    Forget who may or may not be upset by not doing something right or wrong it's your and your future wife's day **** em it will be over in a blink of an eye.

  13. #13
    Guest ben8000's Avatar
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    Go to a registry office. Find tramp on way in to act as witness. Sign a bit of paper and spend the money on something worth while like a good holiday or two holidays.

    Spending anything over 20quid is a waste imo. Thank feck my gf agrees.

  14. #14
    Self confessed player of the pink oboe docwra's Avatar
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    Dont do it in the UK, wedding tax is a joke. We went to France for a week with about 60 mates, rented two castles and all of the rest of the accommodation in a village, laid on an 8 course French meal, unlimited wine and beer, jazz band, disco, horse and carriage, big barbecue the day after for not much more than renting a place for a day would have cost here. The (pretty decent) wine alone was less than £4 a bottle, we had some friends get married a couple of weeks ago and with corkage they were paying £28 per bottle

    If you look at it as a holiday with your mates that you get married on youd be surprised how much you can save - doing it over a few days or a week means you get a chance to actually enjoy it rather than it being finished before youve realised. Youve also got guaranteed weather, and the hangers on that you dont want there are far less likely to come if they actually have to put their hand in their pockets
    You also dont need to have a honeymoon as youve already had a week in the sun with the best company imaginable. Apart from *****.
    Quote Originally Posted by scimmy ben
    I get the feeling that this would only work if we could pursuade Ernest Borgnine to drive the Isle of Wight to Portsmouth hovercraft.
    Quote Originally Posted by sprout
    After I shave my balls swarfega helps soothe, but means the hair grows back quite quickly, so give it a go

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    We got married in may, I was disgusted by how much wedding tax there is on literally everything, a cheap £3 bottle of wine will end up costing you about £15, I was not willing to pay that so we hired a big posh marquee for £1200 cash, the wedding cost us around 5k in total, we put the marquee in a farmers field which had an amazing view, brother in law took the wife in his s15 and I took the best men in my r34, mother in law done all the food, the farmer luckily does hog roasts so he donated that, made a posh bar and got a local pub to do the alcohol at a cheap rate £2 a pint so we just bought champagne to toast with, was a wicked day and night and the bonus of not being in a venue is that you don't have someone telling you what you can and can't do.

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    Guest craftygoblin's Avatar
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    our wedding cost 2.5k including the honeymoon! registry office, skipped the big family meal just me, the wife and my daughter went for something to eat. then a massive party/karaoke in the evening. we'd been together for years before so there was nothing we needed off the "wedding list", instead we asked for donations towards the honeymoon. it was a crackin day and didn't cost the earth!

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    Well I'm in the middle of planning my wedding my budget was around 5k but that's now most probably doubled!!

    O well it's keeping her occupied and I'm able to get in the garage

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    What's shining through in the advice so far is that no one thinks a 20k wedding is any better than a 5k wedding from both the guests and the bride and grooms perspective.

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    Guest spm_steve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mikesx13 View Post
    What's shining through in the advice so far is that no one thinks a 20k wedding is any better than a 5k wedding from both the guests and the bride and grooms perspective.
    Agreed. If I knew we were spending a 5figure sum just on one day I would only be able to think of that!

    If we can get everything fixed for no more then 4k I think we could manage that. And not feel too guilty for spending that much.

    There's a few wedding venues local to us having an open day today so we'll be off on a fact finding mission shortly.

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    run away weddings are a cheap way of doing it and can be great as well!

    Scotlands always been popular for it, my aunti also does them in cornwall at http://lowerbarns.co.uk/

    we had a big wedding on a budget, around 8k for 120 people 6 years ago, I can honestly say it was the best day of my life so far though!

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