It strikes me that a yank isn't the car for you. Parking them isn't that hard to be honest. Many cars are quite big to be fair regardless if they're American or not and an E63 is a good example of a large car so you'd have the same issues with them too. An X6 is wider than my car and most people think my car is big.
If you get hung up on these misconceptions, you're best to buy a Ford Focus 1.6. Or live a little ;-)
They also don't drive shit. Only people who think that are those that believe Clarkson when he tripes up a load of crap like Corvettes having leaf springs like a silvercross pram.
I had this recently. An SRT-10, 510bhp, 6 speed manual. Fantastic quiet drive, lots of grunt. Fuel economy can be ok on a drive. Indicated at 18 on the motorway, which is 21.5mpg in UK gallon sizing. The overdriven gears mean it's doing about 1,500rpm at 70mph. Handled well for a truck too.