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Thread: new energy source

  1. #1
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    Exclamation new energy source

    this therory works upon the princables that toast always lands butter side down and that cats always land on their feet. what you do is strap 4 peices of toast butterside up to the cats feet this means that the toast cannot land on its butter side and the cat cannot land on its back so you get levitation now wrap the cat in a thin layer of copper wire and place between two magnets and you have an unlimited frictionless supply of energy.


















    ill get my coat.

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    thats some bull shit you have thought of there

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    Guest ferretca18's Avatar
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    LOL, i think youre onto something there!
    can you work in something about running out of ink when you most need to use a pen! or a phone that the battery dies just when you need to make a call?

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    Hey hey, another genius crack addict



    Quote Originally Posted by ferretca18
    LOL, i think youre onto something there!
    can you work in something about running out of ink when you most need to use a pen! or a phone that the battery dies just when you need to make a call?
    You're the same guy that complains that it's raining when the windscreen wipers break aren't you

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    Why not use those things that have a magnet and a battery in and strap a small turbine to the rotating edges, so it creates enough power to charge the battery that keeps the magnet charged


    That way you only have to account for the heat loss from friction for perpetual motion.....


    My good god I need to stop drinking

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    Guest MeLLoN Stu's Avatar
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    lol class

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    :d

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    Unfortunatly this has already been researched and the motion wasnt powerful enough .... you get better results from smearing a cat with chicking tikka and dropping it above a cream coloured shagpile carpet

    See below

    Quote Originally Posted by internet
    When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.

    The magazine then got this letter in reply from one of the recipients:

    I've been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while. In the buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with Jacob's crackers. So to save money you just miss out the toast - and butter the cats. Also, should there be an imbalance between the effects of cat and butter, there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet.

    Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula: p = s * t(t)/t(c) where p is the probability of carpet impact, and s is the "stain" value of the toast-covering substance - an indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining the carpet. Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high s value, while the s value of water is zero. t(c) and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value of p being strongly related to the relationship between the color of the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a permanent and obvious stain if the carpet is the same color.

    So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximized if you use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact this combination gives a "p" value of one, which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on its feet.

    Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain to hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash resulting in nauseating images of members of the royal family visiting accident victims in hospital, and politicians saying it wouldn't have happened if their party was in power as there would have been more investment in cat-toast glue research.

    It is in the interests not only of public safety but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet.

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    Guest Robbie P's Avatar
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    surely the butter/chicken tikka should be smeared on the cats feet, and toast would need to used (also on the cats feet) so that a repellant effect is caused - somwhat like when 2 magnets are placed in a like for like pole situation

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    Guest Gavin C's Avatar
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    and by doing that you have made anti gravity

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    Guest amnesia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gavin C
    and by doing that you have made anti gravity

    not to mention a very pissed off cat !

    (unless it likes tikka and toast)


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    The cat-bread drive

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    Guest John Bennett's Avatar
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    I thought someone was going to say the magical Chris De Burgh again

    Attach 4 pieces of toast to his hands/feet and 'levitate' him off a high building. May not generate energy, but you could raise a lot of money from people paying to watch.

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    Guest Gavin C's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Razzario
    The cat-bread drive
    lmao
    will have to let Nasa know.

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    Banned sideways14a's Avatar
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    TBH if we somehow managed to harness the power from threads that contain bullshit posts, say by converting the energy from the thumping of the keys when typing, into electrikery then we would have an almost limitless suppy of cheep power.
    Just think, jonney, myself, maybe grim and all the posters of nonsense that litter this board with complete drivel on a regular basis would be able to power a small town...lets call it SXOVILL, where power comes from drivel

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    Guest Robbie P's Avatar
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    i think it would probably be a lot cheaper to take the cat and thee butter out of the equation completely and just use a very confused unbuttered piece of toast - surely if it isnt buttered it can never land?

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    Quote Originally Posted by rpettafor
    surely the butter/chicken tikka should be smeared on the cats feet, and toast would need to used (also on the cats feet) so that a repellant effect is caused - somwhat like when 2 magnets are placed in a like for like pole situation
    i think the point is the the butter is attracted to the ground, as are cats feet, you need the butter on its back so that both its feet and it back are attracted to.......... i can't believe i'm joing in this debate....

  18. #18
    Guest Robbie P's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crump
    i think the point is the the butter is attracted to the ground, as are cats feet, you need the butter on its back so that both its feet and it back are attracted to.......... i can't believe i'm joing in this debate....
    LOL, i think that both ideas will actually work, i was just adding a new twist...

  19. #19
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    Hmm, so what would happen if you buttered opposite halves of a slice of toast? Would there still be enough butter/floor attraction?

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    Quote Originally Posted by BenTaylor200
    Hmm, so what would happen if you buttered opposite halves of a slice of toast? Would there still be enough butter/floor attraction?
    Thats illegal ... Under the Jamie Oliver convention Jan-2006, buttering 2 sides of anything contravines the obesity act

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