Daniel san
10-11-2001, 22:47
Right, I've nicked this from elsewhere, cos it's funny.
This may be a LONG post but it is my complete works of the latest Pooh Bear novel. Sit down, grab a coffee and a bikkie and read.
Pooh Bear gets stiff
It was a sunny day in one hundred acre wood. The trees swayed from side to
side with the wind, the leaves tumbled to the ground and the stream wined
its way down the valley.
Pooh bear was busy collecting honey from the beehives in his garden. The
thought of fresh sweet, sticky honey was occupying his mind. After he had
filled a whole jar fully of the sweet liquid, Pooh returned inside his tree
house. He took a large serving spoon from the kitchen and plunged it into
the honey pot. The honey oozed over the edge of the spoon as he shoveled
large quantities into his small fury mouth.
"Hmmmmmmm, I just love this honey, so sweet and sticky," said Pooh with his
mouth full.
Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door.
"One second, I'm coming! Who is it?" Pooh spluttered.
"It's me," replied the visitor in a rather muffled voice.
"Who's me?" quizzed Pooh.
"Me, Christopher Robin! Come on open up!"
"You don't sound like Christopher Robin. Have you got a cold?" asked Pooh.
"Erm, yes that's right. I'm really bunged up. Come on Pooh open up, it's
freezing out here!"
Pooh put the honey pot down on the side and moved over to the front door. He
placed his small paw on the door handle and pulled it open. BLAM! The door
was forced open from the outside. Pooh went flying backwards with force and
landed in a fury heap on the lounge floor.
"Christopher ****ing Robin my arse!" screamed the intruder.
"Wh`, wh` who are you?" stuttered a very scared Pooh Bear.
"Roo`s the name and violence on bears is the game" yelled the tall brown
kangaroo.
"Wh`, wh` what are you going to do to me?" asked Pooh.
With that Roo pulled a large length of rope from his pouch. Roo dragged Poo
off the floor, tied his paws behind his back, and both his feet together.
"Why. Why me?" cried Pooh.
"Why? I`ll tell you why. Ever since you moved to this neighborhood, all
you`ve done is eat ****in`honey, play Pooh sticks off the bridge and sit
picking your furry ****in` arse all day. You`re a good for nothing, fat,
lazy honey eating ****er. That`s why." Replied Roo.
Roo sat Pooh in a chair and instructed him not to move. He went outside and
returned with a small brown suitcase. From this he pulled out what looked
like an old chemistry set. He placed the test tubes, Bunsen burner, and
other chemistry paraphernalia on the work top in the kitchen. Once the
Bunsen was lit he proceeded to make his weird and evil concoction. The
liquid in the tubes went from bright red to dark green as it bubbled it's
way around the labyrinth of tubes and bottles. After twenty or so minutes
Roo took a clean test tube and placed it under the tap at the end of the
network of tubes and filters. He turned the tap and a clear liquid dripped
out and into the test tube. Once the tube was half full Roo shut the tap off
and turned to face a shivering Pooh Bear.
"Right you furry ****! Open your mouth and drink this," ordered Roo.
"What is it?" questioned Pooh Bear.
"Justice my furry friend. Gone are the days of the placid fury bear with
**** stuck to his arse. This will make you more acceptable in One Hundred
Acre. Now open your mouth and drink!" replied Roo.
Roo offered the test tube upto Pooh Bears fury mouth but Pooh turned his
head away. SLAP! Roo bitch slapped poor Poo across the face.
"Now drink it you stubborn fury ****!" screamed Roo
Once again Roo put the test tube to Pooh Bears lips. Poo closed his eyes
tight and gulped down the bitter tasting liquid.
"Good, good. Now just relax. Do you feel it working little bear?" Roo said,
with a slight German accent.
Pooh`s head started to feel light and dizzy. Objects in the room started to
distort and take on a strange colored hue. The hue pulsed with every heart
beat of the bear. He noticed that his hearing was more highlighted. He could
hear the dripping of the kitchen tap. Drip, drip, drip. The sound echoed
through his head like the chimes of Big Ben.
"I, I feel strange." Muttered Pooh Bear
"Good, you should. You've just drank a large amount of home made acid. You
sir are on a trip!!" laughed Roo
Roo pulled a Nokia mobile phone from his pouch. He tapped in the number and
held the phone to his large floppy ear.
"****ting One to no one! Never get a ****ing signal when you need it!" he
shouted.
"Phone, where`s you`re ****ing phone bear??" he screamed at Poo Bear.
Pooh lifted a limp paw and pointed to the coffee table in the lounge. Roo
walked over and picked it up. He dialed the number.
"Eey-Ore that you?" said Roo.
"Yup, you got `im?" asked Eey-Ore.
"Yes, tied the fat ****er up and fed him a few tabs" replied Roo
"Nice! I`m coming right over" said Eey-Ore.
Roo put the phone down and moved over to a dribbling and swaying Pooh Bear.
The effects of the drugs had taken their full toll on Pooh. Roo gave Poo a
couple of good slaps to the face to see if he was conscious. Poo just swayed
more and grunted with his head bowed down.
"Right I`m gonna un-tie you now. Any **** form you and I`ll **** you up. You
hear me?" shouted Roo
Poo just mumbled and nodded his head. Roo untied Poo`s feet and then his
hands. Just to make sure that Pooh wasn't going to run away Roo decided to
nail both his feet the floor.
"This might sting a little" laughed Roo.
BANG! BANG! BANG! Roo hammered two six inch steel nails through the middle
of Pooh`s paws. Blood trickled from underneath as the nails penetrated his
fury skin.
"YEOW!!!" screamed Pooh.
Roo just laughed and continued to drive the nails home. Suddenly there was
a knock at the door.
"Roo! Roo! It's me Eey-Ore" whispered the voice from behind the door.
Roo opened the door and let Eey-Oer the donkey in.
"Geez!!!" shouted Eey-Ore
Eey-Ore looked past Roo to see poor Pooh Bear swaying with two of his paws
nailed to the wooden floor and his face swollen and bruised.
"**** me geez, you've sorted that fury **** out proper. Top one, nice one
sorted!" chuckled Eey-Ore.
"Yeh, you could say the justice has been served. It was a long time coming
but **** me was it worth it. Ain`t that right you fury ****?" said Roo.
"You gonna let me `ave a dig then mate?" asked Eey-Ore.
"Sure, need a tool?" replied Roo.
"Nah, brough mi own"
With that Eey-Or pulled out a `Steelers Wheel` CD. He walked over to the
Hi-Fi and placed it in the CD tray.
"Right, track four I think"
Eey-Ore turned the volume know up full. As the music started Roo said
"I know this one, it`s that, oh don`t tell me. That`s it `Stuck in the
middle with you`. That's the one from Reservoir Dogs aint it?"
"Yep, sure is. Thought it was rather fitting" said Eey-Ore
Eey-Ore pulled out a cut throat razor and started to dance to the music.
Eey-Ore became entranced in the rhythm of the music. He pirouetted and lept
around the lounge floor then all of sudden he shuffled towards Pooh Bear
still nailed to the floor.
"Stuck in the middle with you" sang Eey-Ore.
With that he grabbed hold of Pooh`s left ear and began to hack it off with
the cut throat razor.
"OOWW!!" yelled Pooh as his ear was cut clean off.
Blood gushed from his head and Pooh began to loose consciousness.
"Ah what a laugh. I`ve always wanted to do that since I saw the film. Did
you see the way his ear came off? Wicked, just wicked!" laughed Eey-Ore.
"Did I? I was nearly stiff mate!" chuckled Roo
Roo and Eey-Ore laughed and laughed. The site of Pooh nailed to the floor
with one fury ear missing and having **** himself was just too much for
them. They laughed till their sides hurt.
Meanwhile Pooh was slowly gaining consciousness. He could just about raise
his eyes and see his two captors dancing and laughing. Bit by bit Pooh
regained his senses and strength, whilst he still pretended to be
unconscious. Slowly Pooh rocked back and forth on his heels, trying to
release his paws from the nails holding them to the floor. He grimaced with
pain as the nails tore threw the fury flesh on the tops of his feet.
Eventually Pooh had managed to free both his paws.
Roo and Eey-Ore were to busy dancing and laughing to notice that Pooh had
freed himself and was now fully conscious and not to happy about having one
less ear than he had started with that morning. Pooh moved cautiously
towards the log fire where a shiny sharp axe was lent precariously against
the wall. He grasped the axe and held it behind his back and moved back to
where he had been nailed to the floor.
"Let's chop the other one off" laughed Roo
"Yeh, `ere are, you can have the honors" said Eey-Ore as he handed him the
razor.
Roo moved towards Pooh waving the razor as he went.
"where is he, oh he's over ear" joked Roo.
"I'll give you over ear you big footed ****" screamed Pooh as he brought the
axe up and over his head and straight into Roo`s forehead. THUMP! The blade
dug into his flesh. The axe had hit Roo straight between the eyes, splitting
his nose in two. Pooh became stiff! Never before had Pooh felt the rush of
adrenalin through his veins. It was at this point that Pooh realized he
became sexually aroused by the site of pain.
"Holly ****, Roo! You ok mate?" screamed Eey-Ore.
"He'll be ok, it's only a flesh wound" laughed Pooh.
"Flesh wound? You've chopped his ****ing head in half! You mad ****, we were
only messing around and you take things too far" shouted Eey-Ore.
"Me mad? You chopped my ****ting ear off and he nailed my paws to the
****ing floor! Right now get on your ****ing knees you **** stinking, kart
pulling cock muffler." Pooh said angrily.
Eey-Ore dropped onto his knees slowly, begging Pooh not to do anything he
would regret later.
"Oh I wont regret this, I've dreamed of this since the first time I set eyes
on you"
Pooh stood behind the Kneeling donkey and lifted his tail. He took a large
handful of honey from the pot on the side and smeared it round Eey-Ores
twitching poo cutter.
"Right lets play pin the tail on the donkey, I'll use my own pin though"
said Pooh.
With that Pooh pushed his bearhood deep inside Eey-Ore.
"Take that you bitch! Who the daddy? Hmm I feel good. Now beg for more
Donkey boy" Pooh said in utter bear pleasure.
This continued for what must have seemed like hours for Eey-Ore but was only
a couple of minutes. Pooh withdrew and spread his man goo over Eey-Ores
matted fur.
Pooh stood and pulled his shorts up. He now had a problem on his paws. He
had a raped donkey and a nearly dead kangaroo in his house and no place to
put them. What should he do now?
"I know, I'll call Christopher Robin. He'll know what to do" he said out
loud.
Pooh picked up the blood splattered phone and dialed Christopher Robinson's
number.
"Yow, yow, yow, Christopher Robin! Need ya help star." Said Pooh
"Who's that?" asked Christopher Robin.
"It's me, Pooh. Listen I need your help. I've got Roo and Eey-Ore here and
need to dispose of `em ASAP." Explained Pooh
"Dispose of them?" quizzed Christopher Robin.
"Yeh, I've stuck an axe in that **** Roo`s bonce and had my cock up
Eey-Ore's hoop. I'm gonna deal with the donkey in a mo" said Pooh.
"**** me Pooh! No no let me rephrase that. Jesus, you certainly have changed
mate! The last time I saw you, you were busy stuffing your face with honey.
Now you're a gay bear with a violent streak a mile wide in ya!" Christopher
Robin said, sounding slightly shocked.
"yes well get used to it queer boy. Hurry up and get your ass over here.
Bring the truck and a couple of spades" ranted Pooh.
Pooh put the phone down and turned to face the quivering donkey in the
corner.
"Right you molested molting piece of ****. I'm gone have one more go on the
donkey tunnel and then it's nighty night." Sneered Pooh
Pooh assumed the position behind Eey-Ore again. Twenty minutes later Pooh
was panting heavily.
"Oh, uh, yeh!!! In ya face, in yooour face mother ****er!" screamed Pooh
Pooh pulled himself together and went to the kitchen cupboard. He pulled out
the blue apron and face mask, then put them on. Then he found some plastic
sheeting that he hung up all round the house to catch the blood splatters of
poor Eey-Ore. Next he went to the knife draw and took out a sharpening stone
and a selection of large butchers knives and meat cleavers. He sharpened the
knives and cleavers in front of Eey-Ore. He checked the sharpness by running
Eey-Ores tail across the blade. FLOP. His tail fell in two pieces.
"Yep, that's sharp enough" laughed Pooh.
Christopher Robin knocked on the door of Pooh`s house. BANG, BANG, BANG went
the door.
"Hello? Who's that?" said Pooh in an elderly and frail voice.
"It's me you cock, Christopher Robin! Open the ****ing door!" He shouted.
Pooh quickly pulled the door open and let Christopher Robin in. He had
brought his own selection of butchery equipment along too. Christopher Robin
opened the leather carry case to reveal his pride and joy.
"**** me Christopher, that's a pukka bit of kit you've got there. You done
this before?" asked Pooh
"Nah mate, collected loads of Texaco stamps and this was all that I fancied
from the catalogue. Been itching to use `em since I got `em." Explained
Christopher Robin.
Eey-Ore was in a crumpled heap on the floor, shivering with fear and sticky
from all of Pooh`s excitement. Christopher Robin walked over to Eey-Ore and
stood over him.
"My, my. You've certainly ****ed your self this time aint ya. What made you
think you could nail my breadrin`s paws to the floor and cut his ****ting
ear off then get away with it? You must be smoking that hay not eating it!"
said Christopher Robin.
"It was all Roo`s idea. He said he'd piss on the nail that holds my tail in
place, then I contract hepatitis. I didn't mean to hurt Pooh Bear" pleaded
Eey-Ore.
"My ****ing arse you didn't mean to. You bought your own CD and cut my
****ting ear of. I say we should chop the **** stinking donkey up. **** it,
come here you ****"
With that Pooh picked up the large meat cleaver and hacked off Eey-Ore's
front right leg. WHOOSH. The cleaver sliced through the matted fur and
straight through the bone.
"CUUUUUUUUUUUNT!!!!!!" Screamed Eey-Ore.
"****? I'll give you ****, you 3 legged fury **** face!" yelled Pooh.
Pooh picked up the limb from the floor and proceeded to beat poor Eey-Ore
round the head. Blood poured from his skull and leg. Seeing all the action
Christopher Robin selected a 9" vegetable knife from his case. He started
removing limbs from Eey-Ore. First his back two legs, then his remaining
front one. Eey-Ore remained conscious throughout the whole ordeal. As he lay
on the floor thoughts of his childhood drifted through his mind. The time
when he lost his tail in a freak farming accident, when he was first told
that he is a dippy ****, when little Piglet got over excited and nailed his
tail to his forehead.
Suddenly Pooh said,
"Right enough firkin` around. Pass me that 9" black rubber cock that's on my
bedside cabinet please Christopher."
"9" black cock? What the **** you doing` with one of them by your bed?"
asked Christopher Robin.
"Erm, uh, protection mate. The ol` bill came round a while ago and
confiscated mi guns so I needed an inconspicuous weapon to protect myself
with. Who'd expect a 9" black rubber cock to be used as a lethal weapon? He
explained.
Christopher Robin passed Pooh the lethal dildo. Pooh took the weapon in his
right paw and beat Eey-Ore round the face. Pooh did not stop hitting the
donkey until he stopped moving. Pooh paused. A last faint breath could be
heard coming from the limp donkey.
"Boy did that feel good. Right did you bring the spades with ya?" said the
stiff Pooh Bear.
"Did better than that mate" said Christopher Robin
Christopher placed two fingers in his mouth and whistled. Suddenly Piglet
and Tigger came bounding in through the front door.
"Yow, yow, yow, woz up gangstar?" said a Piglet in a rather eMinem like
manor.
"You ****ed that bitch up, damm you is good raster. Tell me dread, what you
want me and mi boombaclat breadrin Tigger to do with da corpse?"
"Well, we`ve only got one corpse at the mo cos that big footed **** is still
breathing. `ere Tigger you jump around like a ****er all day. Jump on that
floppy eared ****s head till it bursts." Ordered Pooh.
"N, N, Na worries boss." Stammered Tigger.
Now for some reason Tigger has always bounced on his springy tail instead of
walking on all fours like a normal tiger would. Tigger dragged the semi
conscious Roo outside and dumped him in the front garden. He then walked
back a few paces, took a nice run up. He leapt into the air. Up, up, up he
went. Tigger landed on Roo`s head with an almighty THUMP!!! Tigger repeated
this several times until Roo`s fury head was nothing but pulp. All this
jumping had left blood and brains all over Tiggers behind. He returned
inside Poohs house and explained that Roo was now no more.
"Ha ha ha" laughed Pooh
"What? What's wrong" asked Tigger
"You, you ****. You've got claret all over ya arse, looks like you're a bint
on the blob" said Pooh.
Pooh realized that the sight of blood pasted around tigers pert arse was
having the same effect as placing the axe in Roo`s face. Pooh`s eyes lit up
as he walked over and locked the door.
"Erm Tigger, could you do me a favor and pick up those two legs over there
please?" Asked Pooh.
Tigger bent over to pick up the two fury stumps off the floor. Pooh seized
his chance. With a liberal spreading of honey on his fury shaft he took
Tigger from behind. WHAM!! Pooh`s bear hood slid deep inside the bouncing
tiger.
"What the ****?" said Tigger as he realized he was being violated.
Pooh gripped the tiger's buttocks tightly as he rammed harder and harder
inside his blood stained hoop. Tigger was obviously a bit distressed by the
whole incident and would rather it stopped. Tigger coiled his tail up as
tight and small as he could. He place the spring like tail in Pooh`s
stomach. BOING!! Now the idea was that the energy stored inside the spring
like tail would propel the fat fury bear backwards, thus alleviating the
anal buggering that Tigger was being subjected to. But instead of Pooh
flying backwards Tigger flew forwards. Like a missile Tigger released
himself from the anal anchor and was propelled forward and into the stone
wall. Tigger hit the wall head first. SPLAT! The tigers head caved in with
the immense impact. Blood, bone and brains sprayed every where. Tigger was
dead.
"**** me!!" said a rather surprised Pooh bear.
"That's what I call an orgasm! He never said that he batted for the other
team. Should have know though really, he always did hang about with Piglet.
Never seen him with a bint. Oh well that's life"
Piglet had witnessed the whole event. Tigger was Piglet`s best friend. They
had grown up together, shared hundreds of childhood hours together. And now
poor Piglet had seen his best friend being anally impaled on the shaft of a
sick bear and then projected into a stone wall and smashed to a pulp.
"BAAAASTARD!!!" screamed Piglet.
Grabbing a flick knife from his tank top pocket he ran towards Pooh bear.
Pooh bear side stepped Piglet and caught him on the chin with a well placed
left hook. Piglet was out cold.
"Right, pick that cheeky **** up and take him out side" Pooh said to a
rather nervous Christopher Robin.
Christopher picked up the unconscious Piglet and took him out into the
sunlight.
"Right, stick him inside Roo`s poxy pouch" ordered Pooh.
Pooh returned inside to collect his sewing kit.
"Right lets sew the **** inside. That'll teach him to try and cut me with a
blade. Just goes to show, you can't trust anyone. Aint that right
Christopher" said Pooh.
"Yeh ya damm right there boss. Cheeky bastard" replied Christopher Robin.
Pooh proceeded to sew the deceased kangaroos pouch shut, with the semi
conscious Piglet inside. Stitch by stitch Pooh sewed until the pouch was
shut tight.
"No **** `ll get out of that" said a rather proud Pooh.
Piglet had regain consciousness. Looking around he realized it was very dark
and the climate was somewhat warm.
"Where am I?. It's dark, warm, and fury." I he said.
"****ER. That ****er has sewn me in big foots ****ting pouch! Oi **** face!
Let me out! I`ll **** you up! You just know I will." He screamed out loud.
Pooh and Christopher Robin just laughed at the muffled voice coming from
inside the dead kangaroo.
"**** me up will ya? You're the one that looks like a pork Kiev, not me"
laughed Pooh.
And he kicked the lump in the pouch as hard as he could.
"Ow" yelled Piglet
"Right Christopher, what we gonna do with all these bodies? How many we got
now? Asked Pooh.
"Erm well there's Tigger, Eey-Ore, Roo and Piglet so that's seven" he
replied.
"Seven? How the **** dya make that seven, you stupid ****. That's four, one
for every inch on my ol` boy" said a very proud Pooh.
"I know what we can do with them" said an excited Pooh Bear.
"We`ll take them in your truck to London. Then we`ll goto London bridge and
play Pooh sticks with them" chuckled Pooh.
Pooh and Christopher heaved the four bodies into the back of the Nissan
Cabstar, covered them with a piece of tarpaulin and headed off towards the
big city. The drive would take them nearly five hours. On the way they
laughed and joked about the mornings shenanigans.
"Look there`s the sign, only sixteen miles to go" said Christopher Robin.
"Yeh not far now. I'm getting stiff already mate. Look" he said pointing at
is four inch erect fury stump.
"Put it away. I don't want you getting` the horn in the cab with me at the
wheel. Just think of Maggie Thatcher or something." Shouted Christopher
Robin.
"Sorry mate couldn't help it, just the thought of playing Pooh sticks with
that fury, no legged, stumpy, spunk ridden donkey"
Sixteen miles didn't take long to cover and soon they were in the busy city
of London.
"Which way now Pooh?" Asked Christopher.
"That way, look London Bridge two miles" said Pooh.
They followed the signs to the bridge.
"At last. Park over there on the left" said an excited Pooh bear.
Christopher parked the Cabstar and they both got out. They removed the
tarpaulin and dragged the bodies off the back of the truck and onto the
floor. The Roo`s pouch bulged and wriggled as Piglet tried to escape.
"Stop wriggling you pink ****! Take it like a pig" shouted Pooh.
"**** you. You homo, web toed, cock sucker! I`ll come back and haunt you I
swear I will."
Pooh just laughed and punched the pouch three of four times.
"Right me first" said an obviously over excited Pooh.
Pooh picked up the legless donkey and hurled him over the side of the
bridge. SPLOSH! The corpse hit the water and floated under the bridge.
Christopher picked up the remains of Tigger and tossed him over the edge.
Pooh and Christopher raced to the other side of the bridge to see who's
corpse would come out the other side first.
"Yes, yes I win. Look It's Tiggers tail." Screamed and excited Christopher.
This angered Pooh. After all, it was Pooh that did all the hard work.
Without him they wouldn't be there playing Pooh sticks. Pooh started to feel
that weird sexual arousal in his loins. His fury pecker grew to its full 4"
length, his fury sacks swelled. Pooh had to relieve this tension.
"yeh you win that one Christopher. BUT......... I'll win the next one! Pick
up that floppy eared **** and we'll toss him over the edge" said Pooh.
"Ok, but what are you gonna use then?" asked Christopher.
"YOU!! You lanky, Abba look alike, short wearing ****er" screamed Pooh.
Pooh grabbed Christopher by he hair and pounded his head against the side of
the bridge. With his other paw he ripped the shorts from Christopher`s
behind. Pooh forced the young boys head and back down towards the ground. He
slipped his girth surprisingly easily inside Christopher`s Marmite tunnel.
"**** me Christopher, you've done this sort of thing before. You're looser
than a West End rent boy that's been doing over time!" said Pooh.
Pooh rode poor Christopher harder than he had ever been ridden before.
As all this was going on, Piglet had been slowly picking at the stitches
keeping him inside Roo`s pouch. Eventually he had freed his hand. He ripped
the pouch open and jumped out of the dead kangaroo like a frog with his
******** on fire. He looked around and could see that Pooh was preoccupied
with shafting Christopher up the muddy rockery. He scouted round looking for
something to hit Pooh over the head with. Then he remembered that
Christopher always carried a 9mm Heckler and Kosh pistol in the glove box
of the Cabstar. He reached round and opened the glove box. Sure enough there
was a 9mm pistol and it was fully loaded with nineteen rounds. Piglet ran
over to where Pooh was busy shoveling the grizzly sausage up Christopher. He
pistol whipped Pooh as hard as he could over the back of the head. Pooh sank
to the floor in a heap, still hard from his endeavors. This left poor
Christopher, still bent over the side of the bridge with his shorts round
his ankles. BANG!!! Piglet squeezed the trigger and shot Christopher
straight between the eyes. Christopher fell forwards and over the edge of
the bridge. SPLOSH the body flopped into the deep murky water below.
Pooh was dazed but still conscious.
"You ****er, how did you get out of there? So now it`s just me and you.
Piglet versus bear." Said a sore headed pooh.
Piglet pulled the trigger again. This time the bullet clipped the end of
Pooh`s bell. It took his helmet clean off. Blood poured from the end.
"Ha ha 3" now!!" laughed Piglet
"Ow!!!!!!" screamed Pooh as he saw his purple globe flying through the air
in front of him.
Piglet took aim once again. BANG! The bullet was heading straight for Poohs
wounded shaft. SPLAT! The bullet took it clean off. Right down to the sack.
"My ol` boy, you've taken my ol` boy!" screamed Pooh
"That's not all I'm taking"
Piglet pulled the trigger for the last time. The bullet hit Pooh in the
chest. It ripped threw his chest and into his tiny heart. Pooh was dead.
Piglet slumped into a heap on the ground and broke down. After a while he
gathered him self together, got in to the Cabstar and drove off into the
sunset.
THE END
Authors note:
Please be aware that no animals were harmed during the writing of his
novel. Any re-enactments, plays, or other theatrical displays must seek the
authors permission prior to performance.
------------------
Dan
Owner of www.puresx.co.uk (http://www.puresx.co.uk) - and the BB @ http://pub51.ezboard.com/bpuresx - Dedicated to the 200SX.
'98 Saphire Blue S14
With a few Blitz and HKS bitz bolted on.
233.5bhp @ Fly / 184bhp @ Wheels - Standard 10psi boost.
0-60 in 6.44secs @ TRAX 2001
1/4 mile 14.7 @ Santa Pod, Oct 14th 2001.
Pops, Bangs and spits flames......constantly!
This may be a LONG post but it is my complete works of the latest Pooh Bear novel. Sit down, grab a coffee and a bikkie and read.
Pooh Bear gets stiff
It was a sunny day in one hundred acre wood. The trees swayed from side to
side with the wind, the leaves tumbled to the ground and the stream wined
its way down the valley.
Pooh bear was busy collecting honey from the beehives in his garden. The
thought of fresh sweet, sticky honey was occupying his mind. After he had
filled a whole jar fully of the sweet liquid, Pooh returned inside his tree
house. He took a large serving spoon from the kitchen and plunged it into
the honey pot. The honey oozed over the edge of the spoon as he shoveled
large quantities into his small fury mouth.
"Hmmmmmmm, I just love this honey, so sweet and sticky," said Pooh with his
mouth full.
Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door.
"One second, I'm coming! Who is it?" Pooh spluttered.
"It's me," replied the visitor in a rather muffled voice.
"Who's me?" quizzed Pooh.
"Me, Christopher Robin! Come on open up!"
"You don't sound like Christopher Robin. Have you got a cold?" asked Pooh.
"Erm, yes that's right. I'm really bunged up. Come on Pooh open up, it's
freezing out here!"
Pooh put the honey pot down on the side and moved over to the front door. He
placed his small paw on the door handle and pulled it open. BLAM! The door
was forced open from the outside. Pooh went flying backwards with force and
landed in a fury heap on the lounge floor.
"Christopher ****ing Robin my arse!" screamed the intruder.
"Wh`, wh` who are you?" stuttered a very scared Pooh Bear.
"Roo`s the name and violence on bears is the game" yelled the tall brown
kangaroo.
"Wh`, wh` what are you going to do to me?" asked Pooh.
With that Roo pulled a large length of rope from his pouch. Roo dragged Poo
off the floor, tied his paws behind his back, and both his feet together.
"Why. Why me?" cried Pooh.
"Why? I`ll tell you why. Ever since you moved to this neighborhood, all
you`ve done is eat ****in`honey, play Pooh sticks off the bridge and sit
picking your furry ****in` arse all day. You`re a good for nothing, fat,
lazy honey eating ****er. That`s why." Replied Roo.
Roo sat Pooh in a chair and instructed him not to move. He went outside and
returned with a small brown suitcase. From this he pulled out what looked
like an old chemistry set. He placed the test tubes, Bunsen burner, and
other chemistry paraphernalia on the work top in the kitchen. Once the
Bunsen was lit he proceeded to make his weird and evil concoction. The
liquid in the tubes went from bright red to dark green as it bubbled it's
way around the labyrinth of tubes and bottles. After twenty or so minutes
Roo took a clean test tube and placed it under the tap at the end of the
network of tubes and filters. He turned the tap and a clear liquid dripped
out and into the test tube. Once the tube was half full Roo shut the tap off
and turned to face a shivering Pooh Bear.
"Right you furry ****! Open your mouth and drink this," ordered Roo.
"What is it?" questioned Pooh Bear.
"Justice my furry friend. Gone are the days of the placid fury bear with
**** stuck to his arse. This will make you more acceptable in One Hundred
Acre. Now open your mouth and drink!" replied Roo.
Roo offered the test tube upto Pooh Bears fury mouth but Pooh turned his
head away. SLAP! Roo bitch slapped poor Poo across the face.
"Now drink it you stubborn fury ****!" screamed Roo
Once again Roo put the test tube to Pooh Bears lips. Poo closed his eyes
tight and gulped down the bitter tasting liquid.
"Good, good. Now just relax. Do you feel it working little bear?" Roo said,
with a slight German accent.
Pooh`s head started to feel light and dizzy. Objects in the room started to
distort and take on a strange colored hue. The hue pulsed with every heart
beat of the bear. He noticed that his hearing was more highlighted. He could
hear the dripping of the kitchen tap. Drip, drip, drip. The sound echoed
through his head like the chimes of Big Ben.
"I, I feel strange." Muttered Pooh Bear
"Good, you should. You've just drank a large amount of home made acid. You
sir are on a trip!!" laughed Roo
Roo pulled a Nokia mobile phone from his pouch. He tapped in the number and
held the phone to his large floppy ear.
"****ting One to no one! Never get a ****ing signal when you need it!" he
shouted.
"Phone, where`s you`re ****ing phone bear??" he screamed at Poo Bear.
Pooh lifted a limp paw and pointed to the coffee table in the lounge. Roo
walked over and picked it up. He dialed the number.
"Eey-Ore that you?" said Roo.
"Yup, you got `im?" asked Eey-Ore.
"Yes, tied the fat ****er up and fed him a few tabs" replied Roo
"Nice! I`m coming right over" said Eey-Ore.
Roo put the phone down and moved over to a dribbling and swaying Pooh Bear.
The effects of the drugs had taken their full toll on Pooh. Roo gave Poo a
couple of good slaps to the face to see if he was conscious. Poo just swayed
more and grunted with his head bowed down.
"Right I`m gonna un-tie you now. Any **** form you and I`ll **** you up. You
hear me?" shouted Roo
Poo just mumbled and nodded his head. Roo untied Poo`s feet and then his
hands. Just to make sure that Pooh wasn't going to run away Roo decided to
nail both his feet the floor.
"This might sting a little" laughed Roo.
BANG! BANG! BANG! Roo hammered two six inch steel nails through the middle
of Pooh`s paws. Blood trickled from underneath as the nails penetrated his
fury skin.
"YEOW!!!" screamed Pooh.
Roo just laughed and continued to drive the nails home. Suddenly there was
a knock at the door.
"Roo! Roo! It's me Eey-Ore" whispered the voice from behind the door.
Roo opened the door and let Eey-Oer the donkey in.
"Geez!!!" shouted Eey-Ore
Eey-Ore looked past Roo to see poor Pooh Bear swaying with two of his paws
nailed to the wooden floor and his face swollen and bruised.
"**** me geez, you've sorted that fury **** out proper. Top one, nice one
sorted!" chuckled Eey-Ore.
"Yeh, you could say the justice has been served. It was a long time coming
but **** me was it worth it. Ain`t that right you fury ****?" said Roo.
"You gonna let me `ave a dig then mate?" asked Eey-Ore.
"Sure, need a tool?" replied Roo.
"Nah, brough mi own"
With that Eey-Or pulled out a `Steelers Wheel` CD. He walked over to the
Hi-Fi and placed it in the CD tray.
"Right, track four I think"
Eey-Ore turned the volume know up full. As the music started Roo said
"I know this one, it`s that, oh don`t tell me. That`s it `Stuck in the
middle with you`. That's the one from Reservoir Dogs aint it?"
"Yep, sure is. Thought it was rather fitting" said Eey-Ore
Eey-Ore pulled out a cut throat razor and started to dance to the music.
Eey-Ore became entranced in the rhythm of the music. He pirouetted and lept
around the lounge floor then all of sudden he shuffled towards Pooh Bear
still nailed to the floor.
"Stuck in the middle with you" sang Eey-Ore.
With that he grabbed hold of Pooh`s left ear and began to hack it off with
the cut throat razor.
"OOWW!!" yelled Pooh as his ear was cut clean off.
Blood gushed from his head and Pooh began to loose consciousness.
"Ah what a laugh. I`ve always wanted to do that since I saw the film. Did
you see the way his ear came off? Wicked, just wicked!" laughed Eey-Ore.
"Did I? I was nearly stiff mate!" chuckled Roo
Roo and Eey-Ore laughed and laughed. The site of Pooh nailed to the floor
with one fury ear missing and having **** himself was just too much for
them. They laughed till their sides hurt.
Meanwhile Pooh was slowly gaining consciousness. He could just about raise
his eyes and see his two captors dancing and laughing. Bit by bit Pooh
regained his senses and strength, whilst he still pretended to be
unconscious. Slowly Pooh rocked back and forth on his heels, trying to
release his paws from the nails holding them to the floor. He grimaced with
pain as the nails tore threw the fury flesh on the tops of his feet.
Eventually Pooh had managed to free both his paws.
Roo and Eey-Ore were to busy dancing and laughing to notice that Pooh had
freed himself and was now fully conscious and not to happy about having one
less ear than he had started with that morning. Pooh moved cautiously
towards the log fire where a shiny sharp axe was lent precariously against
the wall. He grasped the axe and held it behind his back and moved back to
where he had been nailed to the floor.
"Let's chop the other one off" laughed Roo
"Yeh, `ere are, you can have the honors" said Eey-Ore as he handed him the
razor.
Roo moved towards Pooh waving the razor as he went.
"where is he, oh he's over ear" joked Roo.
"I'll give you over ear you big footed ****" screamed Pooh as he brought the
axe up and over his head and straight into Roo`s forehead. THUMP! The blade
dug into his flesh. The axe had hit Roo straight between the eyes, splitting
his nose in two. Pooh became stiff! Never before had Pooh felt the rush of
adrenalin through his veins. It was at this point that Pooh realized he
became sexually aroused by the site of pain.
"Holly ****, Roo! You ok mate?" screamed Eey-Ore.
"He'll be ok, it's only a flesh wound" laughed Pooh.
"Flesh wound? You've chopped his ****ing head in half! You mad ****, we were
only messing around and you take things too far" shouted Eey-Ore.
"Me mad? You chopped my ****ting ear off and he nailed my paws to the
****ing floor! Right now get on your ****ing knees you **** stinking, kart
pulling cock muffler." Pooh said angrily.
Eey-Ore dropped onto his knees slowly, begging Pooh not to do anything he
would regret later.
"Oh I wont regret this, I've dreamed of this since the first time I set eyes
on you"
Pooh stood behind the Kneeling donkey and lifted his tail. He took a large
handful of honey from the pot on the side and smeared it round Eey-Ores
twitching poo cutter.
"Right lets play pin the tail on the donkey, I'll use my own pin though"
said Pooh.
With that Pooh pushed his bearhood deep inside Eey-Ore.
"Take that you bitch! Who the daddy? Hmm I feel good. Now beg for more
Donkey boy" Pooh said in utter bear pleasure.
This continued for what must have seemed like hours for Eey-Ore but was only
a couple of minutes. Pooh withdrew and spread his man goo over Eey-Ores
matted fur.
Pooh stood and pulled his shorts up. He now had a problem on his paws. He
had a raped donkey and a nearly dead kangaroo in his house and no place to
put them. What should he do now?
"I know, I'll call Christopher Robin. He'll know what to do" he said out
loud.
Pooh picked up the blood splattered phone and dialed Christopher Robinson's
number.
"Yow, yow, yow, Christopher Robin! Need ya help star." Said Pooh
"Who's that?" asked Christopher Robin.
"It's me, Pooh. Listen I need your help. I've got Roo and Eey-Ore here and
need to dispose of `em ASAP." Explained Pooh
"Dispose of them?" quizzed Christopher Robin.
"Yeh, I've stuck an axe in that **** Roo`s bonce and had my cock up
Eey-Ore's hoop. I'm gonna deal with the donkey in a mo" said Pooh.
"**** me Pooh! No no let me rephrase that. Jesus, you certainly have changed
mate! The last time I saw you, you were busy stuffing your face with honey.
Now you're a gay bear with a violent streak a mile wide in ya!" Christopher
Robin said, sounding slightly shocked.
"yes well get used to it queer boy. Hurry up and get your ass over here.
Bring the truck and a couple of spades" ranted Pooh.
Pooh put the phone down and turned to face the quivering donkey in the
corner.
"Right you molested molting piece of ****. I'm gone have one more go on the
donkey tunnel and then it's nighty night." Sneered Pooh
Pooh assumed the position behind Eey-Ore again. Twenty minutes later Pooh
was panting heavily.
"Oh, uh, yeh!!! In ya face, in yooour face mother ****er!" screamed Pooh
Pooh pulled himself together and went to the kitchen cupboard. He pulled out
the blue apron and face mask, then put them on. Then he found some plastic
sheeting that he hung up all round the house to catch the blood splatters of
poor Eey-Ore. Next he went to the knife draw and took out a sharpening stone
and a selection of large butchers knives and meat cleavers. He sharpened the
knives and cleavers in front of Eey-Ore. He checked the sharpness by running
Eey-Ores tail across the blade. FLOP. His tail fell in two pieces.
"Yep, that's sharp enough" laughed Pooh.
Christopher Robin knocked on the door of Pooh`s house. BANG, BANG, BANG went
the door.
"Hello? Who's that?" said Pooh in an elderly and frail voice.
"It's me you cock, Christopher Robin! Open the ****ing door!" He shouted.
Pooh quickly pulled the door open and let Christopher Robin in. He had
brought his own selection of butchery equipment along too. Christopher Robin
opened the leather carry case to reveal his pride and joy.
"**** me Christopher, that's a pukka bit of kit you've got there. You done
this before?" asked Pooh
"Nah mate, collected loads of Texaco stamps and this was all that I fancied
from the catalogue. Been itching to use `em since I got `em." Explained
Christopher Robin.
Eey-Ore was in a crumpled heap on the floor, shivering with fear and sticky
from all of Pooh`s excitement. Christopher Robin walked over to Eey-Ore and
stood over him.
"My, my. You've certainly ****ed your self this time aint ya. What made you
think you could nail my breadrin`s paws to the floor and cut his ****ting
ear off then get away with it? You must be smoking that hay not eating it!"
said Christopher Robin.
"It was all Roo`s idea. He said he'd piss on the nail that holds my tail in
place, then I contract hepatitis. I didn't mean to hurt Pooh Bear" pleaded
Eey-Ore.
"My ****ing arse you didn't mean to. You bought your own CD and cut my
****ting ear of. I say we should chop the **** stinking donkey up. **** it,
come here you ****"
With that Pooh picked up the large meat cleaver and hacked off Eey-Ore's
front right leg. WHOOSH. The cleaver sliced through the matted fur and
straight through the bone.
"CUUUUUUUUUUUNT!!!!!!" Screamed Eey-Ore.
"****? I'll give you ****, you 3 legged fury **** face!" yelled Pooh.
Pooh picked up the limb from the floor and proceeded to beat poor Eey-Ore
round the head. Blood poured from his skull and leg. Seeing all the action
Christopher Robin selected a 9" vegetable knife from his case. He started
removing limbs from Eey-Ore. First his back two legs, then his remaining
front one. Eey-Ore remained conscious throughout the whole ordeal. As he lay
on the floor thoughts of his childhood drifted through his mind. The time
when he lost his tail in a freak farming accident, when he was first told
that he is a dippy ****, when little Piglet got over excited and nailed his
tail to his forehead.
Suddenly Pooh said,
"Right enough firkin` around. Pass me that 9" black rubber cock that's on my
bedside cabinet please Christopher."
"9" black cock? What the **** you doing` with one of them by your bed?"
asked Christopher Robin.
"Erm, uh, protection mate. The ol` bill came round a while ago and
confiscated mi guns so I needed an inconspicuous weapon to protect myself
with. Who'd expect a 9" black rubber cock to be used as a lethal weapon? He
explained.
Christopher Robin passed Pooh the lethal dildo. Pooh took the weapon in his
right paw and beat Eey-Ore round the face. Pooh did not stop hitting the
donkey until he stopped moving. Pooh paused. A last faint breath could be
heard coming from the limp donkey.
"Boy did that feel good. Right did you bring the spades with ya?" said the
stiff Pooh Bear.
"Did better than that mate" said Christopher Robin
Christopher placed two fingers in his mouth and whistled. Suddenly Piglet
and Tigger came bounding in through the front door.
"Yow, yow, yow, woz up gangstar?" said a Piglet in a rather eMinem like
manor.
"You ****ed that bitch up, damm you is good raster. Tell me dread, what you
want me and mi boombaclat breadrin Tigger to do with da corpse?"
"Well, we`ve only got one corpse at the mo cos that big footed **** is still
breathing. `ere Tigger you jump around like a ****er all day. Jump on that
floppy eared ****s head till it bursts." Ordered Pooh.
"N, N, Na worries boss." Stammered Tigger.
Now for some reason Tigger has always bounced on his springy tail instead of
walking on all fours like a normal tiger would. Tigger dragged the semi
conscious Roo outside and dumped him in the front garden. He then walked
back a few paces, took a nice run up. He leapt into the air. Up, up, up he
went. Tigger landed on Roo`s head with an almighty THUMP!!! Tigger repeated
this several times until Roo`s fury head was nothing but pulp. All this
jumping had left blood and brains all over Tiggers behind. He returned
inside Poohs house and explained that Roo was now no more.
"Ha ha ha" laughed Pooh
"What? What's wrong" asked Tigger
"You, you ****. You've got claret all over ya arse, looks like you're a bint
on the blob" said Pooh.
Pooh realized that the sight of blood pasted around tigers pert arse was
having the same effect as placing the axe in Roo`s face. Pooh`s eyes lit up
as he walked over and locked the door.
"Erm Tigger, could you do me a favor and pick up those two legs over there
please?" Asked Pooh.
Tigger bent over to pick up the two fury stumps off the floor. Pooh seized
his chance. With a liberal spreading of honey on his fury shaft he took
Tigger from behind. WHAM!! Pooh`s bear hood slid deep inside the bouncing
tiger.
"What the ****?" said Tigger as he realized he was being violated.
Pooh gripped the tiger's buttocks tightly as he rammed harder and harder
inside his blood stained hoop. Tigger was obviously a bit distressed by the
whole incident and would rather it stopped. Tigger coiled his tail up as
tight and small as he could. He place the spring like tail in Pooh`s
stomach. BOING!! Now the idea was that the energy stored inside the spring
like tail would propel the fat fury bear backwards, thus alleviating the
anal buggering that Tigger was being subjected to. But instead of Pooh
flying backwards Tigger flew forwards. Like a missile Tigger released
himself from the anal anchor and was propelled forward and into the stone
wall. Tigger hit the wall head first. SPLAT! The tigers head caved in with
the immense impact. Blood, bone and brains sprayed every where. Tigger was
dead.
"**** me!!" said a rather surprised Pooh bear.
"That's what I call an orgasm! He never said that he batted for the other
team. Should have know though really, he always did hang about with Piglet.
Never seen him with a bint. Oh well that's life"
Piglet had witnessed the whole event. Tigger was Piglet`s best friend. They
had grown up together, shared hundreds of childhood hours together. And now
poor Piglet had seen his best friend being anally impaled on the shaft of a
sick bear and then projected into a stone wall and smashed to a pulp.
"BAAAASTARD!!!" screamed Piglet.
Grabbing a flick knife from his tank top pocket he ran towards Pooh bear.
Pooh bear side stepped Piglet and caught him on the chin with a well placed
left hook. Piglet was out cold.
"Right, pick that cheeky **** up and take him out side" Pooh said to a
rather nervous Christopher Robin.
Christopher picked up the unconscious Piglet and took him out into the
sunlight.
"Right, stick him inside Roo`s poxy pouch" ordered Pooh.
Pooh returned inside to collect his sewing kit.
"Right lets sew the **** inside. That'll teach him to try and cut me with a
blade. Just goes to show, you can't trust anyone. Aint that right
Christopher" said Pooh.
"Yeh ya damm right there boss. Cheeky bastard" replied Christopher Robin.
Pooh proceeded to sew the deceased kangaroos pouch shut, with the semi
conscious Piglet inside. Stitch by stitch Pooh sewed until the pouch was
shut tight.
"No **** `ll get out of that" said a rather proud Pooh.
Piglet had regain consciousness. Looking around he realized it was very dark
and the climate was somewhat warm.
"Where am I?. It's dark, warm, and fury." I he said.
"****ER. That ****er has sewn me in big foots ****ting pouch! Oi **** face!
Let me out! I`ll **** you up! You just know I will." He screamed out loud.
Pooh and Christopher Robin just laughed at the muffled voice coming from
inside the dead kangaroo.
"**** me up will ya? You're the one that looks like a pork Kiev, not me"
laughed Pooh.
And he kicked the lump in the pouch as hard as he could.
"Ow" yelled Piglet
"Right Christopher, what we gonna do with all these bodies? How many we got
now? Asked Pooh.
"Erm well there's Tigger, Eey-Ore, Roo and Piglet so that's seven" he
replied.
"Seven? How the **** dya make that seven, you stupid ****. That's four, one
for every inch on my ol` boy" said a very proud Pooh.
"I know what we can do with them" said an excited Pooh Bear.
"We`ll take them in your truck to London. Then we`ll goto London bridge and
play Pooh sticks with them" chuckled Pooh.
Pooh and Christopher heaved the four bodies into the back of the Nissan
Cabstar, covered them with a piece of tarpaulin and headed off towards the
big city. The drive would take them nearly five hours. On the way they
laughed and joked about the mornings shenanigans.
"Look there`s the sign, only sixteen miles to go" said Christopher Robin.
"Yeh not far now. I'm getting stiff already mate. Look" he said pointing at
is four inch erect fury stump.
"Put it away. I don't want you getting` the horn in the cab with me at the
wheel. Just think of Maggie Thatcher or something." Shouted Christopher
Robin.
"Sorry mate couldn't help it, just the thought of playing Pooh sticks with
that fury, no legged, stumpy, spunk ridden donkey"
Sixteen miles didn't take long to cover and soon they were in the busy city
of London.
"Which way now Pooh?" Asked Christopher.
"That way, look London Bridge two miles" said Pooh.
They followed the signs to the bridge.
"At last. Park over there on the left" said an excited Pooh bear.
Christopher parked the Cabstar and they both got out. They removed the
tarpaulin and dragged the bodies off the back of the truck and onto the
floor. The Roo`s pouch bulged and wriggled as Piglet tried to escape.
"Stop wriggling you pink ****! Take it like a pig" shouted Pooh.
"**** you. You homo, web toed, cock sucker! I`ll come back and haunt you I
swear I will."
Pooh just laughed and punched the pouch three of four times.
"Right me first" said an obviously over excited Pooh.
Pooh picked up the legless donkey and hurled him over the side of the
bridge. SPLOSH! The corpse hit the water and floated under the bridge.
Christopher picked up the remains of Tigger and tossed him over the edge.
Pooh and Christopher raced to the other side of the bridge to see who's
corpse would come out the other side first.
"Yes, yes I win. Look It's Tiggers tail." Screamed and excited Christopher.
This angered Pooh. After all, it was Pooh that did all the hard work.
Without him they wouldn't be there playing Pooh sticks. Pooh started to feel
that weird sexual arousal in his loins. His fury pecker grew to its full 4"
length, his fury sacks swelled. Pooh had to relieve this tension.
"yeh you win that one Christopher. BUT......... I'll win the next one! Pick
up that floppy eared **** and we'll toss him over the edge" said Pooh.
"Ok, but what are you gonna use then?" asked Christopher.
"YOU!! You lanky, Abba look alike, short wearing ****er" screamed Pooh.
Pooh grabbed Christopher by he hair and pounded his head against the side of
the bridge. With his other paw he ripped the shorts from Christopher`s
behind. Pooh forced the young boys head and back down towards the ground. He
slipped his girth surprisingly easily inside Christopher`s Marmite tunnel.
"**** me Christopher, you've done this sort of thing before. You're looser
than a West End rent boy that's been doing over time!" said Pooh.
Pooh rode poor Christopher harder than he had ever been ridden before.
As all this was going on, Piglet had been slowly picking at the stitches
keeping him inside Roo`s pouch. Eventually he had freed his hand. He ripped
the pouch open and jumped out of the dead kangaroo like a frog with his
******** on fire. He looked around and could see that Pooh was preoccupied
with shafting Christopher up the muddy rockery. He scouted round looking for
something to hit Pooh over the head with. Then he remembered that
Christopher always carried a 9mm Heckler and Kosh pistol in the glove box
of the Cabstar. He reached round and opened the glove box. Sure enough there
was a 9mm pistol and it was fully loaded with nineteen rounds. Piglet ran
over to where Pooh was busy shoveling the grizzly sausage up Christopher. He
pistol whipped Pooh as hard as he could over the back of the head. Pooh sank
to the floor in a heap, still hard from his endeavors. This left poor
Christopher, still bent over the side of the bridge with his shorts round
his ankles. BANG!!! Piglet squeezed the trigger and shot Christopher
straight between the eyes. Christopher fell forwards and over the edge of
the bridge. SPLOSH the body flopped into the deep murky water below.
Pooh was dazed but still conscious.
"You ****er, how did you get out of there? So now it`s just me and you.
Piglet versus bear." Said a sore headed pooh.
Piglet pulled the trigger again. This time the bullet clipped the end of
Pooh`s bell. It took his helmet clean off. Blood poured from the end.
"Ha ha 3" now!!" laughed Piglet
"Ow!!!!!!" screamed Pooh as he saw his purple globe flying through the air
in front of him.
Piglet took aim once again. BANG! The bullet was heading straight for Poohs
wounded shaft. SPLAT! The bullet took it clean off. Right down to the sack.
"My ol` boy, you've taken my ol` boy!" screamed Pooh
"That's not all I'm taking"
Piglet pulled the trigger for the last time. The bullet hit Pooh in the
chest. It ripped threw his chest and into his tiny heart. Pooh was dead.
Piglet slumped into a heap on the ground and broke down. After a while he
gathered him self together, got in to the Cabstar and drove off into the
sunset.
THE END
Authors note:
Please be aware that no animals were harmed during the writing of his
novel. Any re-enactments, plays, or other theatrical displays must seek the
authors permission prior to performance.
------------------
Dan
Owner of www.puresx.co.uk (http://www.puresx.co.uk) - and the BB @ http://pub51.ezboard.com/bpuresx - Dedicated to the 200SX.
'98 Saphire Blue S14
With a few Blitz and HKS bitz bolted on.
233.5bhp @ Fly / 184bhp @ Wheels - Standard 10psi boost.
0-60 in 6.44secs @ TRAX 2001
1/4 mile 14.7 @ Santa Pod, Oct 14th 2001.
Pops, Bangs and spits flames......constantly!