How to speak proper Essex like...
Lessons on how to speak Essex for outsiders. Remember to use the accent!
alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item.
amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend").
assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc.
awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost
("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day").
branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look
branna today, ave you been on sunbed?").
cort a panda - A rather large hamburger.
dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit dan in the
maff").
eye-eels - Women's shoes.
Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre.
garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired (Trace: "Oi,Darren,
I fink the motah needs ta go in the garrij cos it aint working proper").
Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island.
Lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik").
oi oi! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or
during banging dance tunes at clubs.
paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport.
reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by
a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig").
Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the
world. The place where the characters from TV's popular soap opera,
Eastenders, go on holiday.
tan - The city of London, the big smoke.
webbats - Querying the location, something or someone is. ("Webbats is
me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on).
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Originally Posted by silverzx
