marriage and family

[Rude Dog]

I was married for 20 years and it ended rather abruptly and then got messy. I'm about 2 and 1/2 years on from that and generally things between me and my ex are calm, although she still blows up for some reason I can't fathom now and again.
Don't regret getting married at all. I had a lot of good times with her and the kids. I still have my kids close to me, although not so much my daughter but she's at "that" age and hormones and a dick boyfriend etc.
She got most of the stuff after I moved out and it was crap but now as I slowly replace stuff or get what I need I feel happier as its mine and not "ours".
Would I get married again? Nope. Don't think so. The last 3 women I've seen have driven me off even having a relationship.
At the end of the day everyone is different and what works for me won't work for others. Only you can decide where your future lies.

[Asht_200]

Yeah i was talking to her about it last night she had a strange upbringing her mom is a nudist hippie and her dad is a lawyer who both hated each other most of the time but they had a open marriage ie the parents both had other partners/relationships. They both believed that humans aren't made to be with a single person for life. Who when she got ill they spilt up as they blamed each other her mom disappeared after getting pregnant by a 18yr (only seen her maybe 3 times in 8 years) her dad has got re married to a women he was dating when married.

So she has a funny view of marriage. She also thinks as it's unlikely she can have kids(no doctor has said it can't happen tho) she seems to think i could do much better as no man wants a women like that

I only started thinking about it as it felt like she was hint dropping and on my laptop someone had been looking at vera Wang(or Wong) wedding dresses. She also hates calling me a boyfriend or bf.

Id never get one like her again I'm pretty sure she's a one off even tonight watching her weld in the spreader plates for a roll cage in her s15 is just a reminder of how epic she is.


The reason i asked sxoc was more to see the views of other guys. I'm not sure saying "I'm not sure if your going to turn in to a money grabbing evil bitch which is really putting me off marrying you" would go down that well or at least one to bring up after sex.


I just hope the misses don't see this as she's looking for parts Eeek.

So you could marry her and she would happily let you shag other women?

She sounds like a keeper

[-ghost-]

So they have been to court again and we was all quite hopeful for him as my other halfs father has taken over as his lawyer and did a huge amount of work but that hope didnt last long and if thats how all courts are then there may aswell be no hearings at all.

he has seen the kids once for 20mins as she was late. she missed 4 meeting all together even tho she lives 15 mins away and hes coming from 2 hours away. Judge wasnt happy she hadnt tried harder but the water works and claiming to be scared that didnt last long.

He missed 1 month of maintenance payments due to been off sick his parents paid the one. Judge not happy

she claimed he was abusive and had wrote down the time and date so after a huge effort evidence from cctv, mobile phone, car gps data, witnesses statements proved that he wasnt anywhere near the house or where she claimed it took place(also odd that it only happened on a tuesday or thursday while the kids was at school or clubs(when she was with the new guy)) to prove his innocence this went no where judge didnt really care.


he told the judge he could no longer afford to pay her maintenance as he had been signed off work sick and that he needed money to rent a place closer to work when he does return hes living with his parents currently. He basically got the reply of sort yourself out and go back to work keep paying it and that while he has a place to stay then he doesnt need a flat to rent.





The lawyer (misses dad) said stop looking at it as divorce means 50/50 now adays its kids first they need a house and money women second she cant work and you made a promise to a lifestyle so she gets the house and belongings and maintenance and 50% pensions. the guy gets the leftovers no body wants and must work to support the kids and ex wife.

Its so hard to see him now and so many people have him down a wife beater. Hes gone from been a smart, well dressed, chatty guy to this broken depressed shell with everyone keeping an eye on him. A couple of our friends are offering him work aboard and telling him to just start a new life which dont seem like a good idea to me. Seems to be a load of the same stories all over the net.

Seems like going to vegas and dumping every penny you have on the table is safer than getting married.

[-ghost-]

So you could marry her and she would happily let you shag other women?

She sounds like a keeper

She said: "I would rather you didn't but I wouldnt stop you having kids"

I never would do that to her anyway.

[zeppelin101]

People are always quick to talk about negative stuff that happens. Don't see that many posts on any topic where people are talking about how well something went. Mostly because there is no story to tell when that's the case.

Marriage (like kids) is not going to be a walk in the park all of the time and so it's going to require both sides to put in some effort. So far as I can see (there have been a couple of divorces in my family) the ones which break down only do so because one of them is bat shit crazy or can't be bothered to put a little effort in. People can be good actors and make all the right noises right up until shit gets tricky. Finding someone who isn't going to bail at the first sign of trouble is the tricky part.