Ant
16-03-2002, 16:48
Here's my contribution to non-2***** chat. Av bin an avid reader of this site for over 12months but avn't posted cos I did'nt own a 200, but now i do!
You have two cows...
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows.
> You sell three of them to your
> publicly listed company,
> using letters of credit opened by your
> brother-in-law at the bank, then
> execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
> general offer so that you get
> all four cows back, with a taxexemption for five
> cows. The milk rights of
> the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to
> a Cayman Island company
> secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
> the rights to all seven
> cows back to your listed company. The annual report
> says the company owns
> eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow
> to buy a new president
> of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No
> balance sheet provided
> with the release. The public buys your bull.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other
> to produce the milk of
> four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops
> dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You go on strike because you want
> three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
> one-tenth the size of an
> ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You
> then create clever cow
> cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them
> Worldwide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live
> for 100 years, eat once
> a month, and milk themselves.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they
> are. You break for lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
> five cows. You count
> them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count
> them again and learn you
> have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open
> another bottle of vodka.
>
> DUTCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> And you film yourself while you do it.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
> You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You
> charge others for
> storing them.
>
> GREEK CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You sell them - kebabs are made of lamb anyway.
>
> A HINDU CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You worship them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
> You claim full
> employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
> newsman who reported
> the numbers.
>
> A WELSH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
:D :D :D
You have two cows...
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> You sell them and retire on the income.
>
> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM:
> You have two cows.
> You sell three of them to your
> publicly listed company,
> using letters of credit opened by your
> brother-in-law at the bank, then
> execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
> general offer so that you get
> all four cows back, with a taxexemption for five
> cows. The milk rights of
> the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to
> a Cayman Island company
> secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
> the rights to all seven
> cows back to your listed company. The annual report
> says the company owns
> eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow
> to buy a new president
> of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No
> balance sheet provided
> with the release. The public buys your bull.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other
> to produce the milk of
> four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops
> dead.
>
> A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You go on strike because you want
> three cows.
>
> A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
> one-tenth the size of an
> ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You
> then create clever cow
> cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them
> Worldwide.
>
> A GERMAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live
> for 100 years, eat once
> a month, and milk themselves.
>
> A BRITISH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. Both are mad.
>
> AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they
> are. You break for lunch.
>
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
> five cows. You count
> them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count
> them again and learn you
> have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open
> another bottle of vodka.
>
> DUTCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> And you film yourself while you do it.
>
> A SWISS CORPORATION
> You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You
> charge others for
> storing them.
>
> GREEK CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You sell them - kebabs are made of lamb anyway.
>
> A HINDU CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You worship them.
>
> A CHINESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
> You claim full
> employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
> newsman who reported
> the numbers.
>
> A WELSH CORPORATION
> You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
:D :D :D