I hate computers!!!

[tubstar]

Today is my day off. A complete and whole day off from the stressful dealig of complete and utter f@#kwit customers. AND, on this fine lovely day, I end up trying to fix my mates dad Tiny PC, and my doctors old should be thrown in the bin pile of cr@p.

I have nothing better to do than this apparently, what an interesting life they must think I have. I wouldn't mind but I fix them, then they come back a couple of weeks later with the same problem.

I made a suggestion at work that when we get a new customer, we should set them and I.Q test. And if they fail we should send them the Tiny/Time/Anywhere... They thought not.

Sorry, no offence meant to average computer users. Just wish they would listen to me when I say not to do something. For example, when I tell someone not to delete the registry coz it seems to be a fairly important file. The next thing I know, they have no registry. But they, it wasn't me!

O'well, nearly done now. I have learn't you see and I now keep an image of their drives on my PC. I love modern day technology. ;)

[ 14-03-2002: Message edited by: tubstar ]

[tubstar]

Hmmmm,

I feel so much better after that.

:D

[JackaL]

Computers would work just fine if those damn users stopped doing things with them!

My favourite has been along the lines of:

User: My computer doesn't work
Me: What do you mean?
User: It won't come on or anything
Me: I'll be over to have a look...
Me: - Find PC, press power button, nothing happens
Me: - check power cable, dozy user has pulled it out with their foot!

How do you make them feel intelligent when you've just told them they've pulled their power cable out? :rolleyes:

[tubstar]

Easy, you don't!

My favourite line in that situation is when they say. "I feel like a right w@#?er now!"
You reply with "I could call you that sir but you certainly won't hear any arguments from me!"

Most people are OK they and realise its them, I just get annoyed when others can't even work that out. Let alone how to use their new PC.

I have to be more kind though, I work in Ipswich and most people there have only ever had to drive tractors for most of their life.

[PhilMorrison]

Where's the ANY Key?

[tubstar]

You joke but little do you know...

People have asked me that!!!

:D

[andyf]

hey where did my post go?

Bah.

My favourite is when I have to install software on a machine, remotely. I ask them to log out of the (NT) machine.

Three things can happen next.

1. They click on the start menu, and select log out. I get the job done.

2. They click on the start menu, and select shutdown. Then they select restart machine. I sigh and patiently wait the 15-60 seconds it takes for the workstation to reboot, then get the job done.

3. They click on the start menu, and select shutdown. Then they press ok. The machine stays on the network a few moments longer, then powers itself off. I sigh *heavily* and call the user. Because I'm usually a nice person, I tell them I "cant see the machine on the network any more" and how did they log out. They tell me they shut it down, is this a problem. Because I'm a nice person, I say yeah, it needs to be at ctrl-alt-del login prompt. I would so love to say something along the lines of .."HOW THE GODDAMN BLOODY **** DO YOU EXPECT ME TO INSTALL ANYTHING WHEN IT'S ****ING POWERED OFF YOU MUPPET. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A PROFESSIONAL --------. RESTART THE ****ER NOW"
Anyway, just one of those can really start the day on a downhill slide.

[Kev]

Dont even get me started on people who cant set up the timer on the VCR, try to record on protected tapes.
Put in CD's upside down in the CD player.
Call u out cos they cant get a picture on the TV. "well yes the aerial fell off the roof in the high winds, but that wont make me lose the picture" :mad: :mad:

Rant over...... for now.

[docwra]

I get developers giving me stuff to test - I have a look at it, find it doesnt work IN THE SLIGHTEST, go back to them and ask, when they wrote it and someone else approved it, why it doesnt work :rolleyes:
Oh, but we didnt build/compile it - we dont know how :mad: :mad:
FFS how can you write software if you dont know how it works?? AAARRGGHHHH!!!!

[Ajay]

After 7 years in IT Support, I have heard some of the best (worst) excuses around.

* Was called up in a blind panic by a Chief Inspector who wanted someone there NOW!! Go up to find him crawling about on the floor. "Cabling" I thinks to meself. Nope - he's lost his mouse cursor because it has gone off the edge of his screen and therefore must have fallen on the floor....

* Another policeman feeling like a complete failure because he couldn't do anything right on his PC. Turned out he had Win 3.1 (this was a Loooooong time ago :D) and Red Brick Wall as his wallpaper. He thought that the RBW was the PCs way of telling him to Stop - that he was doing something wrong....

* Not PC related but...used to install radios on the police motorbikes which would work with no issues for about a week and then we would get complaints about interference and static et al. Took off radio, tested in office - no problem. Put back on bike - problem. Turned out that when they put the bikes away in the garage, the top of the aerial caught on the roof, so they cut the last 2 feet off the aerial....

* User calls me up to complain that while she was at lunch, some miscreant had broken into her locked office and moved her printer to the floor and now it won't work. Does help if she plugs it back into the netwrk socket of course....


There are more...many, many more...but this will do! :D