Chris_Lacey
18-01-2002, 11:10
1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the ar*e and a
> "Cheers
> for
> > the s*x - now f#ck off" would pretty much do it.
> >
> > 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager.
> >
> > 3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29, so it would only
> occur
> in
> > leap years.
> >
> > 4. On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.
> >
> > 5. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
> >
> > 6. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
> >
> > 7. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.
> >
> > 8. Every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per
> year.
> >
> > 9. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
> >
> > 10. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the
> televised
> > football, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen
> when
> the
> > ball goes out of play.
> >
> > 11. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an
> acceptable
> > response to "I love you."
> >
> > 12. The funniest guy in the office would get to be boss of the
> company.
> >
> > 13. "Sorry, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable
> excuse
> for
> > absence and/or poor time keeping.
> >
> > 14. Lifeguards could remove females from beaches for violating the
> "Public
> > Ugliness" law.
> >
> > 15. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
> >
> > 16. Lager would have the same effect as Viagra.
> >
> > 17. "Fancy a sh*g" would be the only chat up line in existence and it
> would
> > work every time.
> >
> > 18. Everyone would drive at least 70mph and anyone driving under that
> would
> > be fined.
> >
> > 19. Dinner break would happen every hour and the boss would hire in
> > strippers and ?2000 per-night brasses for the duration of those
> breaks.
> >
> > 20. Saying "Lets have a threesome. You, me and your sister" to your
> > wife/girlfriend would get the response, "What a great idea!"
> >
> > 21. Harrier jump jets would take you to and from work.
> >
> > 22. Everyone would own a real Lightsabre. Any disagreements would be
> > settled with a fight to the death. (or the loss of a hand)
> >
> > 23. Vomiting after 20 pints would actually make you more attractive
> to
> the
> > opposite s*x.
> >
> > 24. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd
> get
> to
> > slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone.
> >
> "Cheers
> for
> > the s*x - now f#ck off" would pretty much do it.
> >
> > 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager.
> >
> > 3. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29, so it would only
> occur
> in
> > leap years.
> >
> > 4. On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.
> >
> > 5. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".
> >
> > 6. Tanks would be far easier to rent.
> >
> > 7. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.
> >
> > 8. Every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per
> year.
> >
> > 9. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
> >
> > 10. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the
> televised
> > football, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen
> when
> the
> > ball goes out of play.
> >
> > 11. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an
> acceptable
> > response to "I love you."
> >
> > 12. The funniest guy in the office would get to be boss of the
> company.
> >
> > 13. "Sorry, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable
> excuse
> for
> > absence and/or poor time keeping.
> >
> > 14. Lifeguards could remove females from beaches for violating the
> "Public
> > Ugliness" law.
> >
> > 15. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
> >
> > 16. Lager would have the same effect as Viagra.
> >
> > 17. "Fancy a sh*g" would be the only chat up line in existence and it
> would
> > work every time.
> >
> > 18. Everyone would drive at least 70mph and anyone driving under that
> would
> > be fined.
> >
> > 19. Dinner break would happen every hour and the boss would hire in
> > strippers and ?2000 per-night brasses for the duration of those
> breaks.
> >
> > 20. Saying "Lets have a threesome. You, me and your sister" to your
> > wife/girlfriend would get the response, "What a great idea!"
> >
> > 21. Harrier jump jets would take you to and from work.
> >
> > 22. Everyone would own a real Lightsabre. Any disagreements would be
> > settled with a fight to the death. (or the loss of a hand)
> >
> > 23. Vomiting after 20 pints would actually make you more attractive
> to
> the
> > opposite s*x.
> >
> > 24. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd
> get
> to
> > slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone.
> >