Bad joke of the day

[Gary]

Jelly Bean walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie.
After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, do you fancy going to that new club in town?" and the Jelly Bean says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up getting my head kicked in."

So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you." So Jelly Bean says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me." and off they went.

After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under a table, the Lockets take one look at Jelly Bean and start kicking him, punching him and generally having a laugh.

After a while they get bored and walk out. Jelly Bean pulls his battered Jelly Bean body over to the table and wipes his Jelly Bean blood up and turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after me?"







"I was!" says Smartie, "But those Lockets are menthol!"

[Algie]

Very good,:D

I know a very similar joke...

Swap the jelly bean for the M4. Swap the Smartie for the M25 and swap the lockets for a large piece of red tarmac.

When the M4 gets beaten up and askes the M25 why he didn't help, the M25 says "I would have helped but that red tarmac's a bloody cyclepath!"

Alg :nod:

[dunc]

LOL, liked them both :D

[Cube]

:rolleyes:

[RADS_S13]

LOL :D

Cheesy but :cool:

[Ripper]

:D Utter shite - but amusing nonetheless! :D :D

[dj_mdma]

so bad, its good :smash:

[whitlock]

Two nuns....

Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are travelling
through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the
hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.

Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water
at the Vatican," says Sister Helen.
Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "Now what?" shouts Sister Catherine?
"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking," says Sister Catherine.
She opens the window and shouts, "Get the f**k off the car!"

my contribution to bad joke of the day