Lewis
19-11-2003, 16:16
1. NAMES -If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they
will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris,Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as FatBoy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT -When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will
each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will
have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When
the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY -A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay
$1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS -A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS -A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a
man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS -Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women
aren't looking, men kick cats..
7. FUTURE -A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS -A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend.. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE -A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she
does.
10. DRESSING UP -A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the
plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the
mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL -Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women
somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING - Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She
knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short
people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY -Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris,Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as FatBoy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT -When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will
each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will
have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When
the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY -A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay
$1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS -A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS -A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a
man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
6. CATS -Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women
aren't looking, men kick cats..
7. FUTURE -A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8. SUCCESS -A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend.. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9. MARRIAGE -A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she
does.
10. DRESSING UP -A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the
plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the
mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. NATURAL -Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women
somehow deteriorate during the night.
12. OFFSPRING - Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She
knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite
foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short
people living in the house.
13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY -Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.