50 things a woman can't do. [Archive]

Lewis

30-06-2003, 11:00

1. know anything about a car except its colour
2. understand a film plot
3. go 24 hours without sending a text message
4. lift
5. throw
6. run
7. park
8. fart
9. read a map
10. rob a bank
11. resist Ikea
12. sit still
13. tell a joke
14. play pool
15. pay for dinner
16. eat a kebab whilst walking
17. pee out of a train window
18. argue without shouting
19. get told off without crying
20. understand fruit machines
21. walk past a shoe shop
22. make a decent bacon sandwich
23. not comment on a stranger's clothes
24. use small amounts of toilet paper
25. let you sleep with a hangover
26. drink a pint gracefully
27. get a round in
28. throw a punch
29. do magic
30. like your friends
31. enjoy porn
32. eat a really hot curry
33. get to the point
34. buy plain envelopes
35. take less than 20 minutes in the toilet
36. sit in a room for five minutes without saying "I'm cold"
37. go shopping without telephoning 20 mates
38. avoid credit card debt
39. dive into a pool
40. assemble furniture
41. roll a bogey between finger and thumb
42. set a video recorder
43. not try and change you
44. watch a war film
45. understand why flirting results in violence
46. spend a day by themselves
47. go to the toilet by themselves
48. buy a purse that fits in their pocket
49. choose a video quickly

and of course

50. get this far without having argued with at least 70% of the above

Hayley

30-06-2003, 11:04

Hey I take acception. :mad:

I can fart as good as any man!!!!!;) :D :p

siranui

30-06-2003, 11:23

>18. argue without shouting

Major row caused by this last night.
'Why can't you just talk properly, instead of yelling at me?'
'Because I like to shout'

> 22. make a decent bacon sandwich

Hate to admit it, but she's got me here. She does tripple decker ones, and in addition to the bacon, she puts like a really, really thin omlette in both layers. Superb.

Ken

30-06-2003, 11:27

8. fart

May not have the volume, but the wife makes up for it with the smell

Tara

30-06-2003, 13:14

Yep I disagree too! Perhaps a lot is true for most women, but not for me!;)

dunc

30-06-2003, 13:21

48. buy a purse that fits in their pocket

Whats this all about? Why do I end up putting a red purse in my pocket FFS!

Its worse when they buy a handbag thats to small (or filled with too much make-up stuff) for the purse to fit in, then wear a dress with no pockets. So where's the purse going to go? In my fecking coat pocket again :mad: :mad:

Cath

30-06-2003, 13:22

*chuckles away to herself*

aye right i cannae do any of them ...................not

Dave_S

30-06-2003, 13:29

Mwaahahaha :D

Laura didn't agree with about oooo 70% :D

Dave

Missy

30-06-2003, 14:22

13. tell a joke......

A man and a woman are driving down the same road at the same time.
As they pass each other the woman leans out the window, points and yells, “PIG! ”

The man immediately leans out his window, shakes his fist and shouts back, “WITCH!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he slams into a pig that had wandered into the middle of the road.

If only men would listen

I have to say there was only 3 or 4 things on that list i can't do......
I wonder if you can guess which they were.....

hadyn

30-06-2003, 14:23

1 thing men cant do........

GIVE BIRTH!!!! ;)

dunc

30-06-2003, 14:59

Originally posted by Missy

I have to say there was only 3 or 4 things on that list i can't do......
I wonder if you can guess which they were.....

13. tell a joke?

:p :p :D ;)

Captain Muppet

30-06-2003, 15:13

Originally posted by hadyn
1 thing men cant do........

GIVE BIRTH!!!! ;)

Damn - you've got me there. Hope you enjoy it.:eek:

hadyn

30-06-2003, 15:17

to the best of my knowledge, us blokes cant have multiple orgasms, unlike women..........

:eek:

Braintree

30-06-2003, 15:22

Originally posted by hadyn
to the best of my knowledge, us blokes cant have multiple orgasms, unlike women..........

:eek:

Me thinks someone isn't in touch with his sexual self!!

Mulitiple orgasms are easily achieved with practice!!

dunc

30-06-2003, 15:43

Originally posted by Braintree

Mulitiple orgasms are easily achieved with practice!!

Any old excuse to be on the job is good enough for me [starts eyeing up women in the office who were previously too unattractive to consider before I started thinking about sex]

Dunc.

hadyn

30-06-2003, 15:44

Originally posted by Braintree
Me thinks someone isn't in touch with his sexual self!!

Mulitiple orgasms are easily achieved with practice!!

your not talking about the give it a good grip before u blast, then another few strokes before final erruption technique r u braintree??

if so been there done that!!! :p

Cath

30-06-2003, 16:06

dunc go spank the monkey or no cakes for u wednesday night!

Tricky-Ricky

30-06-2003, 16:45

51: buy a bigger handbag and not fill it to bursting!;)

Braintree

30-06-2003, 16:47

Originally posted by hadyn
your not talking about the give it a good grip before u blast, then another few strokes before final erruption technique r u braintree??

if so been there done that!!! :p

Nope, talking about seperating the actual pleasure and "erruption" as it were, when they are two seperate "events" you can have multiple orgasms but with only 1 "erruption"!! :D

hadyn

30-06-2003, 16:49

its not a real multiple orgasm tho m8, its just like stop and starting a male orgasm....

womens multiple orgasms seem to get bigger and bigger as u go, kinda like how a turbo comes on and spools up!! ;) :p :thumbs: :thumbs:

Johnny

30-06-2003, 16:55

Originally posted by Braintree
Nope, talking about seperating the actual pleasure and "erruption" as it were,

Ahh yes ... but has anyone actually managed this without the use of a pair of marrigolds, a copy of Tiffanys "I think your alone now" and a girls school uniform ???

hadyn

30-06-2003, 16:57

Originally posted by Johnny
Ahh yes ... but has anyone actually managed this without the use of a pair of marrigolds, a copy of Tiffanys "I think your alone now" and a girls school uniform ???

:eek: carefull there mate, anymore of that talk and you'll have a news of the world paedo lynch mob round your house ASAP!! :eek: :p

Johnny

30-06-2003, 17:12

Sixthform College girls ......... I'm twisted .... but I aint sick ....... fortunately here they still have to wear uniforms up to 18 :)

Craig David

30-06-2003, 19:28

28) Throw a decent punch

You clearly haven't met my Mrs. She can deliver a frightening left-right combination.
Which is surprising considering she has very small fists (something the multiple male orgasm seekers might bear in mind).

little T

30-06-2003, 22:07

I totally dissagree and think you should re-think your list,
i can do all.....except eat a hot curry.:eek:
I think us women should do a list for the men....:)

Kev

01-07-2003, 04:42

little t i wanna see picture evidence of the train peeing:D :D

Johnny

01-07-2003, 09:10

Originally posted by Kev
little t i wanna see picture evidence of the train peeing:D :D

No you dont .... why do you think he is called LITTLE t ???????

In defence of the list ... as we seem to have a lot of female disagreement here ....... My GF qualifies for about 70% of them ....... especially the being cold one !!! ... always cold :confused:

Chris_thedr

01-07-2003, 09:29

Originally posted by Johnny
No you dont .... why do you think he is called LITTLE t ???????

Errr, when she says 'us women' I think we can take it to mean that little t is female :):)

And little t how much do you disagree with? About 70% ;):)

Speedy Sam

01-07-2003, 09:30

I don't believe it! I 'm seriously reconsidering following this forum!!!

I've heard an orgasm compared to lots of things (major sneezes etc) BUT ONLY ON THE SXOC SITE COULD IT BE COMPARED TO HOW A TURBO SPOOLS UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me gives up :confused:

Jezz_S13

01-07-2003, 09:39

Sam...

Interests = HORSE !
Occupation = Extreme money making dude

Does that make you a smack dealer?

Nice pussy BTW. :)

Johnny

01-07-2003, 09:41

Originally posted by Chris_thedr
Errr, when she says 'us women' I think we can take it to mean that little t is female :):)

Ah ... yes .... :o would help If I actually read the posts from the top down ... and not the bottom up :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

I would like to re-submit my post ..... and also like to the see the Picture of Little-t and the train :cool:

Chris_thedr

01-07-2003, 09:46

Originally posted by Johnny
like to the see the Picture of Little-t and the train :cool:

me too!!!:D:D

And LOL@Speedy Sam:):) aren't cars great?:D:D

dunc

01-07-2003, 09:50

Originally posted by Johnny

In defence of the list ... as we seem to have a lot of female disagreement here ....... My GF qualifies for about 70% of them ....... especially the being cold one !!! ... always cold :confused:

My GF qualifies for pretty much all of them, when she's complaining about being cold she's actually roasting hot when I touch her to warm her up (no smut please :rolleyes: ). But she's also believe's most of the list is false....... :confused:

Jezz_S13

01-07-2003, 09:51

what's this little_T pic, I need to see it first as it'll need to be moderated.

Johnny

01-07-2003, 09:52

Originally posted by dunc
My GF qualifies for pretty much all of them, . But she's also believe's most of the list is false....... :confused:

Ahh ... Nail ........ Head ... youve hit it !!!

How come, we see all these qualities in our other halves ...... yet they deny all of them ??? :confused: :confused:

Johnny

01-07-2003, 09:57

Originally posted by Johnny
Ahh ... Nail ........ Head ... youve hit it !!!

How come, we see all these qualities in our other halves ...... yet they deny all of them ??? :confused: :confused:

Ahhh ....... just saw number 50 ........... Im not doing too well today

dunc

01-07-2003, 10:00

Originally posted by Johnny

How come, we see all these qualities in our other halves ...... yet they deny all of them ??? :confused: :confused:

Probably the same way that we deny the qualities they see in us that we don't like. We've all seen the bloke lists:-

1. Always hogging the remote control
2. Always checking other girls out on the beach
3. Always thinks they are the best driver..etc...etc...

Dunc.

dunc

01-07-2003, 10:01

Originally posted by Johnny
Ahhh ....... just saw number 50 ........... Im not doing too well today

DOH! Did the thread title not give a slight clue to how many there were in the list :p :wave:

Johnny

01-07-2003, 10:03

Originally posted by dunc

1. Always hogging the remote control
2. Always checking other girls out on the beach
3. Always thinks they are the best driver..etc...etc...

Dunc.

I agree with all of them :) ....... although 1 is dodgy because I have no TV ....... but I do make a good job of stealling her remote :D

Johnny

01-07-2003, 10:04

Originally posted by dunc
DOH! Did the thread title not give a slight clue to how many there were in the list :p :wave:

I'm an engineer ... we count from 0 ... I got to 49 ... and assumes it was the 50th item and stopped :rolleyes: :D :p

hadyn

01-07-2003, 12:34

Originally posted by Speedy Sam
I don't believe it! I 'm seriously reconsidering following this forum!!!

I've heard an orgasm compared to lots of things (major sneezes etc) BUT ONLY ON THE SXOC SITE COULD IT BE COMPARED TO HOW A TURBO SPOOLS UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me gives up :confused:

thats not a bad thing luv, thats a damn good comparison!!all about hitting the peak, and maintaining it!! ;)

dunc

01-07-2003, 12:40

I believe this may be relevant:-

dunc

01-07-2003, 12:43

Does that attachment work BTW?

brucy

01-07-2003, 12:47

Originally posted by dunc
Does that attachment work BTW?

Yep :thumbs:

Johnny

01-07-2003, 12:48

Yes but it is inacurate ..... I'd like to swap the ball sports for yet more sex :thumbs:

Koko

01-07-2003, 12:48

Dunc, it doesn't show the magnification of the picture the male brain.....I didn't think they got that big ;) :p

dunc

01-07-2003, 12:53

Originally posted by Johnny
Yes but it is inacurate ..... I'd like to swap the ball sports for yet more sex :thumbs:

Good call :D :D

Martin T

01-07-2003, 13:21

Originally posted by Koko
Dunc, it doesn't show the magnification of the picture the male brain.....I didn't think they got that big ;) :p
On that point, it doesn't show the magnification of the female brain, since we have4 BILLION more brain cells then women
:p :p :p :D :D

Speedy Sam

01-07-2003, 13:25

Yes cars are great but as you probably have noticed I'm more into the original horse power!!!!!!

It's Lens fault I'm on this forum! but must admit to liking his car a bit ;)

I would look much better in it though and he should consider donating it to me during the day as opposed to leaving it lonely on a station platform :cry:

Not sure it would pull a horse trailer though? Have heard rumours it couldn't pull a granny out of bed :D

Johnny

01-07-2003, 13:26

yes but all 4 billion are taken up with thinking about sex and/or Avril Lavigne .......... so the extra few billion dont really count :D

Speedy Sam

01-07-2003, 13:34

Originally posted by Johnny
yes but all 4 billion are taken up with thinking about sex and/or Avril Lavigne .......... so the extra few billion dont really count :D

Could someone explain the thing with Avril Lavigne to me?

Doesn't she just remind you of a gobby teenager whose had a bit toooo much glue for her young years?

Methinks boys tastes must really be a changin' :confused:

Cath

01-07-2003, 13:40

Shes untouched thingy i think sam

I'm sure a 200 will pull a horsey trailer - we'll try at the weekend hun!!:wack:

Johnny

01-07-2003, 13:49

Originally posted by Speedy Sam
Could someone explain the thing with Avril Lavigne to me?

Errrr ........ Female and above average on the attractive side ........ Thats all it takes to think about sex.

Of course long term interest in her ..... and she becomes a gobby teenager whose had a bit toooo much glue for her young years? :)

But with all sexual fantasies ............. we generally dont think long term :rolleyes: ;)

Cath

01-07-2003, 13:51

you meanys ! :(

U got me poor sam worried that the leggy blondes are out and the spotty teenages are in.:wack:

Don't worry hen! Leggy blondes are never out of fashion!!:thumbs:

Lenagh

01-07-2003, 13:53

Yeah Sam Cath is down this weekend apparently. But no you won't be attaching anything to my car. :wave:

I just got an email off sam saying she had turned into a forum addict and I replied saying EH U DONT POST FK ALL ?

Then I just found this thread :D

Apologies Sam. aka NERD QUEEN :D

BOW DOWN TO THE NERD QUEEN HAHAHA

:notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy :notworthy

Cath

01-07-2003, 13:57

We won't have the horse in the trailer!!! We'll just try the trailer for starters.

This could be a break thru for all horsey people - the SX'ers could grown by millions if its a break thru!

Lenagh

01-07-2003, 13:57

Avril Lavigne compared to Sam and Cath lol ??

I work at the sport and have an eye for these things. Sorry guys theres no comparison.

/me legs it to let the lads imaginations run wild !

:D :D :p

dunc

01-07-2003, 13:59

Originally posted by Feisty Red Head
Shes untouched thingy i think sam

PMSL, untouched! Have to seen her? If she's untouched I've never woken up in bed with a complete stranger after a heavy night out..... And I'm a virgin too :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Craig David

01-07-2003, 14:00

Originally posted by Speedy Sam
Could someone explain the thing with Avril Lavigne to me?

Doesn't she just remind you of a gobby teenager whose had a bit toooo much glue for her young years?

I'd say a shallow corporate puppet with all the integrity of a shed built out of spit.

Johnny

01-07-2003, 14:05

Originally posted by Feisty Red Head
This could be a break thru for all horsey people - the SX'ers could grown by millions if its a break thru!

The 200 will pull the Trailer, the horse and Avril ... no worries what so ever ............ where you plan fails ... is getting the 200 out of a wet field is hard enough .......... getting the 200 out of a wet field with a horse in tow .......................... Nah ..... the ***** will just spin her arse ..... youd be better off getting the horse to tow the ***** out the field.

Lenagh

01-07-2003, 14:07

She ain't half an mouthy brat imo and a badly educated one at that which makes her innane views almost as irritating as charlot churches. But not quite :)

Yeah I remember when rock was rock. These days bands like linkin park and avril are just as big a sellout as Blue or Westlife or any other pop tripe.

I personally listen to Rage against the machine and Audioslave.

FOOK THE SYSTEM - BULLET IN THE HEAD :D

Cath

01-07-2003, 14:08

Now thats a plan and a half !

See 200 and horsey go hand in hand !!!!!!!:D

Speedy Sam

01-07-2003, 15:59

Still not much wiser re the Avril thing but will just accept it as it takes all sorts!!!

Has anyone any comments re Biker Boyz - Thinking of going to see it when it comes out but haven't heard any reviews. I'm sure someone on here must have some info even if it is of the two wheeled persuasion.

Fancy coming to see it Dave/Cath? Not sure when it starts but I'm sure Dave will find out by scouring the web whilst getting paid Mega Mooola for doing bugger all:p :p :p :p

Cath

01-07-2003, 16:04

SURVIVAL OF THE FASTEST.
------------------------------------------
"Biker Boyz" is an action-packed contemporary Western on wheels with desperados who live every day on the edge.

In the world of underground motorcycle clubs, the undefeated racer known as Smoke (Laurence Fishburne) is the undisputed "King of Cali." But Smoke's dominance of the set is about to be threatened by a young motorcycle racing prodigy called Kid (Derek Luke), who is determined to win Smoke's helmet and earn the coveted title.

"Biker Boyz" stars Academy Award nominee Laurence Fishburne ("What's Love Got to Do With It") as Smoke, and Derek Luke, who recently won praise for his feature film debut in the title role of "Antwone Fisher," in the role of Kid.
------------------------------------------

Probably over hyped annoying film but it has guys with nice bods Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

*drools*

I'm up for anything at the weekend - need to do shop shop tho!!
Which cinema ?