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Ant
19-06-2003, 09:09
An elephants nipple simply can't be that big! Exclaimed Mr. Thompson

docwra
19-06-2003, 11:11
Get back into the sack for enjoyable sandwiches.

gaz.thomas
19-06-2003, 11:31
So...Wharf.

Gaz
-x-

JB
19-06-2003, 11:36
Red, but never on a Friday.

Ken
19-06-2003, 11:37
My chicken has become entangled in the branches of the pond

yeager
19-06-2003, 11:38
hello

PhilMorrison
19-06-2003, 11:39
blue rainbow?? how am I supposed to eat that?

Ant
19-06-2003, 15:08
Around the corner they went

John_P
19-06-2003, 15:14
The chainsaw made light work of the stump.

Deacon
19-06-2003, 15:27
the monkeys hangover was gone !

Scott_Drayton
19-06-2003, 15:32
And with that he slowly removed the ornament.

TAS
19-06-2003, 15:33
Im surprised this threat hasnt been called SHITE yet:p :D

So quickly..

"The Rain in Spain falls Mainly on the Plane"

Deacon
19-06-2003, 15:36
lovely beautiful girls glorious huge breasts said the one eyed pig

Tenman
19-06-2003, 15:46
the sun was so hot I froze to death

Nathan_200sx
19-06-2003, 15:55
what the world *realy* needs is a good automatic bycicle sharpner

Ken
19-06-2003, 16:00
Stop it vicar, it just won't fit no matter how hard you try

Nathan_200sx
19-06-2003, 16:00
individualists unite!

Dan@DB-Power
19-06-2003, 16:02
Man who walks through airport security sideways is going to bangkok :D :D :D

Ant
19-06-2003, 16:03
Roll over

Nathan_200sx
19-06-2003, 16:05
speak softley and carry a 2 handed +6 sword

Ant
19-06-2003, 16:09
There is no T in shelf

BanjoMaster
19-06-2003, 16:11
Where's the thing we use for...digging...food...?

Scott_Drayton
19-06-2003, 16:11
Never trust an ugly man with a pretty girlfriend, but on Wednesdays this is ok.

Nathan_200sx
19-06-2003, 16:12
Theres more than one way to skin a cat:
Way no 15 : crazy glue and a tooth brush

JB
19-06-2003, 16:15
Gently removing the sponge from his arse he continued to wash his car.

Simon
19-06-2003, 16:18
You cant carve rotten wood

Braintree
19-06-2003, 16:18
Applying soap he licked the car clean. Sponge feel good in ass

JB
19-06-2003, 16:20
Tickle my scrotum said the Organ Grinder to the Monkey.

Scott_Drayton
19-06-2003, 16:22
Replacing his heart, he then picked the phone up: -

"Doc, its no good. Im gona need some chop-sticks to do this by myself..."

BanjoMaster
19-06-2003, 16:32
Put that thing away! You'll get us all killed!

dunc
19-06-2003, 16:32
The tu-tu wearing dolphin ate socks

BanjoMaster
19-06-2003, 16:36
Listen!! Can you smell something?!

JB
19-06-2003, 16:37
A stitch in time spanks a hamster.

BanjoMaster
19-06-2003, 16:42
Being from Spain I'm immune to drain cleaner, we drink it like you drink tea, I'll show you. Oh, I transtlated wrong.

dunc
19-06-2003, 17:19
Pity the fool who steals ma wheels.....

(oops wrong thread ;) )

Wak
19-06-2003, 17:44
The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one they said

Martin T
19-06-2003, 18:02
One's aura of greatness in only exceeded by their aura of eternal stench.

Midgers
19-06-2003, 18:13
There are only 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary, and those who don't.

BanjoMaster
19-06-2003, 18:18
I like my coffee like I like my women....COVERED IN BEES!!!!

Ant
19-06-2003, 18:20
Where's my fish?

JB
19-06-2003, 18:21
In your sock

Midgers
19-06-2003, 18:24
OUT!!!!!!!!
GET OUT!!!!!!

or leave the trifle

JB
19-06-2003, 18:26
Did you mean to stick it up there, archbishop?

Midgers
19-06-2003, 18:29
(this thread will be even more entertaining after a drink.)

Cows are not toys

BanjoMaster
19-06-2003, 18:35
Daddy, if you keep doing this I'm going to tell the police.

Braintree
19-06-2003, 18:36
A dog is not just for christmas . . . . .

There's usually enough left over for Boxing Day as well!

BanjoMaster
19-06-2003, 18:36
Yes darling, if I'm honest, that dress makes your arse look huge.

dunc
19-06-2003, 18:40
I laddered my tights yesterday doing a suplex

JB
19-06-2003, 18:40
I told you not to cut the lawn with that wheelie bin

Ken
19-06-2003, 18:57
cheese on toast will get that stain out

Ant
19-06-2003, 19:25
You've got skidmarks?

Midgers
19-06-2003, 19:32
just blame the french!

Ken
19-06-2003, 19:37
Turn right at the traffic lights, you can't miss it

BanjoMaster
19-06-2003, 19:49
The only cure for genital herpes is fire...and lots of it!

Braintree
19-06-2003, 19:49
Go straight on ...

If you see a pub on the left ...

You've missed it by about half a mile ...

BanjoMaster
19-06-2003, 19:59
Look mate, it's my hippo, and I'll do whatever the bloody hell I want with it, alright!?

dunc
19-06-2003, 20:18
The bearded lady waits, plastic bag in hand

JB
19-06-2003, 21:28
Those Germans are such kind-hearted folk.

Ken
19-06-2003, 22:15
I may deliver it tomorrow by hand, foot and clenched elbow

BanjoMaster
19-06-2003, 22:17
Quick, Dave, punch me in the head!

Ant
19-06-2003, 22:20
Really? And thats bad is it?

JB
19-06-2003, 22:22
Darling, please fist me again, I love it so much.

Ken
19-06-2003, 22:37
I prefer it bald Madam

JB
19-06-2003, 22:42
And with that, Hubert jumped in front of the Intercity 125.

dunc
19-06-2003, 23:27
Is it supposed to smell like that?

S13Si
19-06-2003, 23:28
Jesus that Elephants Cranium was Hard!, Shame about the pudding :wack:

yeager
19-06-2003, 23:30
if one said four and two said three, i'd say nine cause four is one

yeager
19-06-2003, 23:30
Originally posted by JB
And with that, Hubert jumped in front of the Intercity 125.

I've read that book, it's most excrement

dunc
19-06-2003, 23:33
Don't worry, it only hurts the first few times

yeager
19-06-2003, 23:42
01111001011011110111010100100000011000010111001001 10010100100000011001100110000101110010001000000111 01000110111101101111001000000110011101100101011001 01011010110111100100100000

hint: It's ascii

BanjoMaster
19-06-2003, 23:56
...and now he's dead.

dunc
20-06-2003, 08:44
You'd do it if you loved me.

SandyP
20-06-2003, 09:01
Education isn't everything, it isn't an Elephant for example

Ken
20-06-2003, 09:05
It will burst if you squeeze it hard enough

Ant
20-06-2003, 09:06
Even though I said left, you went left, which is what I really meant in the first place

Scott_Drayton
20-06-2003, 09:06
If it can fly, make sure it has the teeth of a blue whale.

JB
20-06-2003, 09:24
I love front wheel drive

docwra
20-06-2003, 09:40
Never double cross an Octopus - but feel free to use the spoons provided

JB
20-06-2003, 10:00
Why, Mr Marsh, that is a small one.

Ant
20-06-2003, 10:06
:rolleyes:

Martin T
20-06-2003, 10:09
I'm so far behind the amount of shite Ripper posts it's untrue :D

JB
20-06-2003, 10:10
Originally posted by Ant
:rolleyes:

size matters to nobody except those who care about nothing but size to whom it matters what size you are.

dunc
20-06-2003, 10:57
The inflateable vikings delivered the yellow pages with great anger

JB
20-06-2003, 11:00
At school they taught us all about eating maggots

Ken
20-06-2003, 11:05
I will not buy this Tobbaconist, it is scratched

Scott_Drayton
20-06-2003, 11:08
Get your banana away from me, that could seriously scare the trees away.

JB
20-06-2003, 11:19
Ppppeco exhausts are the pinnacle of style and performance and certainly better than this goat I have tethered.

dunc
20-06-2003, 11:21
You've missed - No I haven't

Scott_Drayton
20-06-2003, 11:22
One day, cheese will be more powerful than you can ever imagine. The world must prepare for this.

JB
20-06-2003, 11:25
That Tony Blair: he's such a genuine bloke and his wife is gorgeous.

dunc
20-06-2003, 11:34
Decus et Tutamen

JB
20-06-2003, 11:35
Per ardua ad astra

StuyMac
20-06-2003, 11:36
"Silly man give wife grand piano, wise man give her upright organ", said the china man.

Midgers
20-06-2003, 12:56
I'm sorry,Sir, there was no stoppage. You had fired all your rounds.

thejames
20-06-2003, 13:00
Slippery blue penguins easily gargle yoghurt of a lazy sunday afternoon. Twice.

JB
20-06-2003, 13:03
Mon Hamster resemble a la lune et son cul est rouge.

BanjoMaster
20-06-2003, 13:04
Were you about to call me an asshole!?

Ant
20-06-2003, 15:45
mildly stare after you have turned the page

Yingtong
20-06-2003, 19:30
with pickled onoins and ice cream !!!!!!:eek:

dunc
20-06-2003, 23:10
I'm about to park my meat wagon in tuna town.

JB
21-06-2003, 12:00
Our traffic police are doing a damn fine job.