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StuyMac
13-06-2003, 14:27
>A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW appeared out of a dust cloud coming toward him.
>The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd,
>"If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one ?
>The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
>The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM Thinkpad and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the Internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out a 150 page report on his hi- tech, miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and says,
>"You have exactly 1,586 sheep".
>"That is correct, take one of the sheep," said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you
>exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
>"OK, why not," answered the young man.
>"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. "That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
>"No guessing required," answers the shepherd. "You turned up here, although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you know absolutely nothing about my business. Now give me back my dog".

SandyP
13-06-2003, 14:33
Excellent particularly because I'm a Consultant but also a part-time shepherdess :D

Pete C
13-06-2003, 14:42
Excellent :D

Jeff
13-06-2003, 14:44
Quality :D It's not as good but as the ball is rolling......

A man had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife." So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
On the day of his funeral, he was stretched out in the casket, with his wife was sitting in black next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!" She had a shoe box with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
She said, "Yes, I promised. I'm a good Christian, I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."
"You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"
"I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a cheque."