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yeager
23-05-2003, 23:40
booooom
Dave_S
23-05-2003, 23:41
Been at the sauce again matey ;) :D ?

Dave
yeager
23-05-2003, 23:42
heel yess, lots, man... if i take my glasses off i think i'm gonna puke.. and if i do.. i'm gonna take a photo and paste it right here..


huzzah!!
Dave_S
23-05-2003, 23:43
lol!!! Always rely on you for some entertainment :D

Dave
yeager
23-05-2003, 23:46
i'm great at telling very silly stories when rather drunk...
Chris
23-05-2003, 23:48
Originally posted by yeager
i'm great at telling very silly stories when rather drunk...

go on then
yeager
23-05-2003, 23:58
You will wish you never started me off...

When the steam runs out, feel free to drink a lot and add into the plentyful depths of stupidity I will now engage in.... (due to alcoholic state all speeeling mistakes are excused)

So it starts here, a small ugly looking rabbit by the name of Jim wanders into his local massage parlour...

"Elo Jim, 'ows da new motor?" Calls out his friendly Swedish massuer (but oddly in a Yorkshire accent, go on, reread it, and say that line out aloud... i dare you)

Jim nods nonchalantly in the direction of the Swede... "Aye mate, tis fast as fook I tell ya, but something very very odd 'appened this week..."

"Go on..." egged his muscle pounding pimp...

"Well the story starts like this..."

Jim then started to describe how when picking up his new car he had met a rather shiney, smooth and slinky (by all accounts of slinky) snake called Janice (yes, snakes can have boring names as well as interesting ones like Naja naja kaouthia)

This snake was a devious, evil little lady who wished nothing but the worst of our good 'ole Jims big ends (fnar fnar) and if only Jim had seen the huge warning signs of pending death, the rattles, the smoke... pah.. this was the devil in the pipes awaiting the oily end that Jim never foresaw...

"So I pick up me new motor, all shiney like, and this nice snakey lass slinks over to pay a few compliments... but shes, well... something not quite right."

Jims face darkens, the lights darken, the world around him darkens... shit, my glass is empty... brb...
Dave_S
24-05-2003, 00:00
LOL!!!! :thumbs:

Dave
yeager
24-05-2003, 00:05
my glass is full, all hail the dark creamy stuff (and i aint talking no black mans cum, me no puff u see)

So Jim swicthes on the light (which was causing said darkness, logic prevails... we all win, support science... did you know that there are more than 3 dimensions? Most of them are curled up very tight and we dont really see them... shocking, I wonder if my guinness is a whole dimension in itself, if so, thats all i want... to live in a single dimension only occupied by lovely, smooth, stout beer... lush... dreamy... drunky funky punky chunky BEER.. YES YES MORE !!!)

*yeager drinks entire pint in one... YES this did happen...or will..*

actually i didn't, I tried, but Jims story recalled me from the pint...

and so we continue...
yeager
24-05-2003, 00:10
"fooking eck man, she wanna jump on ya nuts cause u gots a nice motor ?" Screams (well, midly shouts... actually rather more a raised voice) his massure (spelling? like I give a shit).

Jim continues to explain how this evil woman had jumped into his new fast motor (can you guess what it is yet?) only to offer him sex, 3 times a week... not on Sundays and only when the Sun is shining, in exchange for exclusive access to speed (not the drug... pffft drugs are for losers) issued from such vehicle from which they were conversing within...

YES

She was offering sex... for his car...!!!

OMFG

Was the car the cause of her sexual impulse ? Was her offer due to the cars sexual image? Was sex the cause of the car ? Was the car the cause of an image of sex in which an impulse of energy was .... sorry... getting a bit carried away....

anyhow...

She said she would give him serious head (ewww... i prefer the fun, more... unserious type, but hey.. at least she offered) in exchange for a fast ride... in the car... :)

And what did Jim do ?
yeager
24-05-2003, 00:16
tick tick tick
symbol
24-05-2003, 00:19
:D :D wish i drank :D
yeager
24-05-2003, 00:22
Originally posted by symbol
:D :D wish i drank :D

and yet you do.. isn't it odd how the word "drink" is associated only with alichol (i WANTED to spell it like that.. ok? no? feck off then)

and so...
yeager
24-05-2003, 00:23
So Jim unzips, bears the his tubby (ahh bless) and lets the snake work wonders on his downpipe (huzzah)

in the meantime...

DUH DUH DUH DUH (batman style squgly things across your eyes...)

I have another drink, hehe, u musta seen dat one coming !
symbol
24-05-2003, 00:24
very true oh wise 1 ;) should of put alcohol (?) after it :cry:
yeager
24-05-2003, 00:26
*hick*

So Jim gets a blow, and then some forced induction (*wince* ow man thats gotta hurt) and looks the snakey lady in the eyes and says...

"Here, take my keys, ride me like you never did before..."

And the cow kicked him out the car and rode away into the night..

what a bitch...

however

there is a moral to this story... Can you tell what is it yet ?
djsy69
24-05-2003, 00:33
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
ABSOLUTELY fantastic!!!!!:finger: , i dont think ive seen such a funny drunken thread:D :D :D
yeager
24-05-2003, 00:37
can you tell what it is yet?
symbol
24-05-2003, 00:40
Originally posted by yeager
can you tell what it is yet?

:wave: :cry: :confused: :cry:
Leon
24-05-2003, 00:47
rolf harris?

never lend a snkae your keys?

never get a blow from something the same width as your cock?

never trust a snake?

never trust anyone but yourself with your keys?

never post while drunk?

never ferk a begonia?

never drink belgian beer?

never wear white socks?

tell me damnit, i'm running out of air
yeager
24-05-2003, 00:49
i got no idea what the moral is, i'm as pissed as an irishman and therefore can hardlty read this
jdubon
24-05-2003, 00:50
I know this may seem completely unrelated but I'd like to inform you that monkeyradio.org is back is back and better than ever.

(yeager made me do it!)
yeager
24-05-2003, 00:52
and if anyone knows a drunken yeager, this man does... quote me like u know how !!
jdubon
24-05-2003, 00:52
of course I'd also like to inform you that you should remove the extra "is back" in order to achieve optimum reading comprehension.

(This time yeager did not make me do it)
yeager
24-05-2003, 00:53
monkeyradio.org is the mutts nuts btw!!
symbol
24-05-2003, 00:57
:D :D & after all this yr over 2000 posts :thumbs:
yeager
24-05-2003, 00:58
*dance*

yay yay
dunc
24-05-2003, 01:04
And I thought I'd be the drunkenest person posting, I stand corrected.
yeager
24-05-2003, 01:05
Originally posted by dunc
And I thought I'd be the drunkenest person posting, I stand corrected.

if u r standing, u r not drink.. heh
dunc
24-05-2003, 01:10
Fair comment :D :D
marty_t3
24-05-2003, 01:11
so is it a competition now?
symbol
24-05-2003, 01:12
Well i'm waiting for my lad to wake up so i can feed him & let his mum sleep (arrrrrrrh)
ps he's due a feed about now :sleep: :sleep:
yeager
24-05-2003, 01:13
Originally posted by marty_t3
so is it a competition now?

I win, no compeition...
marty_t3
24-05-2003, 01:14
give it a few more weeks and if your lucky the sprog will sleep right through the night :D mine was in bed 3 hours ago and won't be up till about 8am :D plenty of drinking time in between :D
marty_t3
24-05-2003, 01:15
yeager... i think you might be right :D
dunc
24-05-2003, 01:16
Originally posted by marty_t3
so is it a competition now?

Look mate, I'm not even in the running judging by some of the threads on here tonight!!!
symbol
24-05-2003, 01:16
:cool: :cool: can't wait :thumbs:
marty_t3
24-05-2003, 01:18
dunc... if i'd known there was a comp on i'd have tried harder... only became aware of it when yeager sent me a message about pirates :D
symbol
24-05-2003, 01:18
Originally posted by dunc
Look mate, I'm not even in the running judging by some of the threads on here tonight!!!

PMSL :D :D :D it's another entertaining night on the sxoc bb :thumbs: :thumbs:
yeager
24-05-2003, 01:19
Originally posted by marty_t3
dunc... if i'd known there was a comp on i'd have tried harder... only became aware of it when yeager sent me a message about pirates :D

arrr matey, the ship has sailed and the only way out is with the sword... LAND AHOY !!!!!
dunc
24-05-2003, 01:20
Originally posted by marty_t3
dunc... if i'd known there was a comp on i'd have tried harder... only became aware of it when yeager sent me a message about pirates :D

You're cracking me up, pirates!! Forward it to me mate.

On-line drinking competition sounds good to me, set a time and date. Last man typing wins :D
MattyGee
24-05-2003, 01:21
Originally posted by yeager
arrr matey, the ship has sailed and the only way out is with the sword... LAND AHOY !!!!!

ROFL :D
dunc
24-05-2003, 01:22
Originally posted by yeager
arrr matey, the ship has sailed and the only way out is with the sword... LAND AHOY !!!!!

:D :D Shiver me timbers... Pieces of eight!!!
marty_t3
24-05-2003, 01:23
there's me sitting with my vodka, watching spaceballs and this appears on my screen :D


yeager says:
aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
yeager says:
matey
yeager says:
the ships be rolling on the open sea
yeager says:
get ya parrot, lets be pirates
yeager says:
matey
yeager says:
arrrr
marty_t3 (SXOC) says:
lol..... you up drinking late again
yeager says:
me?
yeager says:
drink?
yeager says:
never
yeager says:
brb, glass empty
dobergoose
24-05-2003, 01:24
what pirates ?
dunc
24-05-2003, 01:26
Brilliant, MSN messenger? If so I'll have to add him to the list so I can get in on the pirate action!
yeager
24-05-2003, 01:26
Originally posted by dobergoose
what pirates ?

pirates? pirates?

ON THE SEA young man... robbing the rich and living a life of sea loving rogues
dobergoose
24-05-2003, 01:26
my mum has a parrot, should I suspect her of beingg a pirate?
dunc
24-05-2003, 01:27
Originally posted by dobergoose
my mum has a parrot, should I suspect her of beingg a pirate?

Its always the first sign.
yeager
24-05-2003, 01:27
Originally posted by dobergoose
my mum has a parrot, should I suspect her of beingg a pirate?


arrrr arrrrr, shiver me timbers
dunc
24-05-2003, 01:28
Does she drink rum?
voodoo_melon
24-05-2003, 01:28
Originally posted by marty_t3

yeager says:
me?
yeager says:
drink?
yeager says:
never
yeager says:
brb, glass empty

Lol :D
This is quality material :)
yeager
24-05-2003, 01:38
boooooooooooom
dunc
24-05-2003, 01:42
Classic will smith eh?
symbol
24-05-2003, 01:46
Originally posted by dunc
Classic will smith eh?

:D :D :notworthy :notworthy class :thumbs: i just woke the wife up :cry: :cry: :cry:
yeager
24-05-2003, 01:47
Originally posted by symbol
:D :D :notworthy :notworthy class :thumbs: i just woke the wife up :cry: :cry: :cry:

arrr then it be time to give 'er a good ole pirates porkin !!
marty_t3
24-05-2003, 01:50
lol...yeager is actually "captain stabbin" in disguise :D
dunc
24-05-2003, 01:52
Originally posted by yeager
arrr then it be time to give 'er a good ole pirates porkin !!

Well said. I'm available if you're not up to it :D ;) ;) ;)
yeager
24-05-2003, 01:53
Originally posted by dunc
Well said. I'm available if you're not up to it :D ;) ;) ;)

Get in fooking line.. can we have a picture of said lady please? :D:D
dunc
24-05-2003, 01:54
Originally posted by marty_t3
lol...yeager is actually "captain stabbin" in disguise :D

PMSL, Seamen Stianes etc. etc.
Keith_C
24-05-2003, 02:08
ROFL!

I wonder what threads we would see if both Andy and Yeager got on the sauce in the same night :eek: :D
yeager
24-05-2003, 02:13
Originally posted by Keith_C
ROFL!

I wonder what threads we would see if both Andy and Yeager got on the sauce in the same night :eek: :D

WARNING WARNING SXOC OVERLOAD !!
dunc
24-05-2003, 02:16
PMSL, we'll have to set up a drinking comp between the two!!!!
yeager
24-05-2003, 02:17
Originally posted by dunc
PMSL, we'll have to set up a drinking comp between the two!!!!

WARNING WARNING YEAGER OVERLOAD
dunc
24-05-2003, 02:19
There'd be loads of pirate banter thats for sure!
dunc
24-05-2003, 02:34
Take it Yeager's collapsed then? :D :D
yeager
24-05-2003, 02:41
just about to.. MUST


END



STORY
dunc
24-05-2003, 02:41
Good night ;)
yeager
24-05-2003, 02:42
Jim shoots himself cause the slinky snake of a woman does his car in.. good night...
dunc
24-05-2003, 02:42
:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :wave:
Jon
24-05-2003, 23:23
I NEED to reply to this but am speechless :D
yeager
11-08-2006, 06:27
Been at the sauce again matey ;) :D ?

Dave

Tonight, yessir!!

Man, how many drunk posts have I made on this forum""

heheoasd

esdtoot

too
masny
methijngks

lol
MeLLoN Stu
11-08-2006, 06:56
It's been a while, but good to see you back on the sauce posting bollocks Si :thumbs: :D
yeager
11-08-2006, 07:07
It's been a while, but good to see you back on the sauce posting bollocks Si :thumbs: :D

But of corpse, whom else would continue the pirates and their dead endeavour?
Dave_S
11-08-2006, 07:18
Fantastic :D

Good to hear from you dude, enjoy :D

Dave
Kiruji
11-08-2006, 09:55
Three years later you're going to continue the story? FPMSL @ this thread :D :D
Ady682
11-08-2006, 10:17
thats quality, proof beer makes the world a better place
RyanH
11-08-2006, 10:56
ROFL!

This also made me ROFL!

http://www.driftworks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21490

:wack: