Kanes
22-05-2003, 00:12
Decided to vent here about other people's lack of taste, i mean ok, nova modding is one thing and could be put down to some penal deficiency but what i have witnessed this week is beyond mere willy extensions:
1. a renault clio tarted up to the ground in white with bodykit, spoiler, gold alloys.......ok bog standard you may think for the average ****. But they go one further......... first off this car has a tiny ground clearance, the fact the owner lives in Scrub lane (for those of you not familiar with hadleigh, this road is littered with speed bumps) and the owner has dozens of scratch marks up the back from his bling bling chrome tip bouncing off the road. Now ok, still very basic, but now we get to the cream....
the sound system. I thought CD's were the current form of media, but no, this car has 2 bloody record decks in the back seat! complete with mixer! and the :tosser: who drives it feels free to sodden my ears with his awful taste in music along with his mate in the back shouting over a microphone (i believe the term is MC'ing? master of ****'s? masturbating ****?). Outside ****ing speakers too, no chance of escape from someone who should have been drowned at birth then shot just to make sure. It's not even a williams, it's a bog standard 97 reg, the world's polishing a turd spring to mind
2. Carnoissour, anyone familiar with this alloy chain? well the office in Chalkwell obviously has the pick of the bunch when it comes to hiring. I went in to purchase some 17" Superleggera's for a customer only to be greeted with 2 gormless muppets. On arrival outside i saw 2 cars 'show cars' one lime green escort with enough plastic to make Jordan jealous and i suspect the owner was keeping chickens in the bonnet as obviously the wire was a dead giveaway, and a MODDED smart car! yes folks, a purple/green (2 tone) smart car, not brabus, a bog standard smart car! ignoring these minor attrocities to motoring i went in:
"hi, i'll have 5 17" superleggeras"
*blank stare* from employees (for imagination help, go to Mcdonals and ask for a Burger without putting Mc before it.......see the blank stare you're getting? the obvious sign that the lights are on but whoever was inside that head has buggered off down the pub? *THAT'S THE LOOK!*)
"........OZ racing?"
"ah, nah, we ain't got any in stock, can order some in"
"no, sorry need them today"
"we got some Fox racing reps, look rite like em"
"erm...do they weigh the same?"
"erm...dunno"
*cue muppet number 2*
"what you want OZ for anyway"
"well, wheels.....i want a set of alloys wheels from OZ racing, it's not like i want a blowjob from them is it?"
"nah, i mean why OZ? fox and BBS are much better, i got some"
"really, what car?"
"fiesta sport"
"...............right, well when i want to hand my customer a shiny piece of ****, charge him hundreds for it, and watch him get laughed out of the Porsche cup and lose any chance i have of getting more work from those guys, plus any self respect i have for myself, i'll come look for you.....until then *walks out door*"
what is wrong with these people! did someone take a piss in the gene pool?
1. a renault clio tarted up to the ground in white with bodykit, spoiler, gold alloys.......ok bog standard you may think for the average ****. But they go one further......... first off this car has a tiny ground clearance, the fact the owner lives in Scrub lane (for those of you not familiar with hadleigh, this road is littered with speed bumps) and the owner has dozens of scratch marks up the back from his bling bling chrome tip bouncing off the road. Now ok, still very basic, but now we get to the cream....
the sound system. I thought CD's were the current form of media, but no, this car has 2 bloody record decks in the back seat! complete with mixer! and the :tosser: who drives it feels free to sodden my ears with his awful taste in music along with his mate in the back shouting over a microphone (i believe the term is MC'ing? master of ****'s? masturbating ****?). Outside ****ing speakers too, no chance of escape from someone who should have been drowned at birth then shot just to make sure. It's not even a williams, it's a bog standard 97 reg, the world's polishing a turd spring to mind
2. Carnoissour, anyone familiar with this alloy chain? well the office in Chalkwell obviously has the pick of the bunch when it comes to hiring. I went in to purchase some 17" Superleggera's for a customer only to be greeted with 2 gormless muppets. On arrival outside i saw 2 cars 'show cars' one lime green escort with enough plastic to make Jordan jealous and i suspect the owner was keeping chickens in the bonnet as obviously the wire was a dead giveaway, and a MODDED smart car! yes folks, a purple/green (2 tone) smart car, not brabus, a bog standard smart car! ignoring these minor attrocities to motoring i went in:
"hi, i'll have 5 17" superleggeras"
*blank stare* from employees (for imagination help, go to Mcdonals and ask for a Burger without putting Mc before it.......see the blank stare you're getting? the obvious sign that the lights are on but whoever was inside that head has buggered off down the pub? *THAT'S THE LOOK!*)
"........OZ racing?"
"ah, nah, we ain't got any in stock, can order some in"
"no, sorry need them today"
"we got some Fox racing reps, look rite like em"
"erm...do they weigh the same?"
"erm...dunno"
*cue muppet number 2*
"what you want OZ for anyway"
"well, wheels.....i want a set of alloys wheels from OZ racing, it's not like i want a blowjob from them is it?"
"nah, i mean why OZ? fox and BBS are much better, i got some"
"really, what car?"
"fiesta sport"
"...............right, well when i want to hand my customer a shiny piece of ****, charge him hundreds for it, and watch him get laughed out of the Porsche cup and lose any chance i have of getting more work from those guys, plus any self respect i have for myself, i'll come look for you.....until then *walks out door*"
what is wrong with these people! did someone take a piss in the gene pool?