GrahamB
13-05-2003, 23:12
AutoCar: Nonsense rattled by 'bootleg' designer modifications
Nissan's recently announced tuning partner Carl Nonsense was said to be fuming last night after it emerged that aftermarket tuning modifications were outselling his Nonsense originals. Recent sales figures revealed that kits engineered by Dave Noddy, infamous for his designs on the FSO Polonez and Lada Riva, are being bolted on to Nissan's family cars in their thousands in a bid to improve flaccid performance.
"Carl is not happy" said Nonsense's partner Quintenn "When he signed his contract with Nissan he was expecting all modified Nissans to exclusively be Nonsense cars. Now it turns out that with these aftermarket mods there will be several Noddy cars too. It's distressing"
Independent tests conducted by 'What Scrabble?' magazine have found disturbing results. A device marketed as an induction device was found to be badged 'Moulinex' and also included a Sansui tape machine that played out 'whoosh....' noises as the accelerator was pressed. Alarmingly other devices were seen to have hidden markings too, including a McDonald's happy meal container rebadged as a sports exhaust and a interior instrumentation kit apparently engineered by Fisher-Price.
"These modifications invalidate warranty and are strictly prohibited by Nissan" commented Ping-Flop Hung-Dump, Nissans legal representative "They are clearly not made by Nissan as they are not made entirely of grey plastic and do not rattle. We strongly disagree with the fitting of such devices as it moves the vehicle away from a Nonsense Car and more to a Noddy Car"
Nissan's recently announced tuning partner Carl Nonsense was said to be fuming last night after it emerged that aftermarket tuning modifications were outselling his Nonsense originals. Recent sales figures revealed that kits engineered by Dave Noddy, infamous for his designs on the FSO Polonez and Lada Riva, are being bolted on to Nissan's family cars in their thousands in a bid to improve flaccid performance.
"Carl is not happy" said Nonsense's partner Quintenn "When he signed his contract with Nissan he was expecting all modified Nissans to exclusively be Nonsense cars. Now it turns out that with these aftermarket mods there will be several Noddy cars too. It's distressing"
Independent tests conducted by 'What Scrabble?' magazine have found disturbing results. A device marketed as an induction device was found to be badged 'Moulinex' and also included a Sansui tape machine that played out 'whoosh....' noises as the accelerator was pressed. Alarmingly other devices were seen to have hidden markings too, including a McDonald's happy meal container rebadged as a sports exhaust and a interior instrumentation kit apparently engineered by Fisher-Price.
"These modifications invalidate warranty and are strictly prohibited by Nissan" commented Ping-Flop Hung-Dump, Nissans legal representative "They are clearly not made by Nissan as they are not made entirely of grey plastic and do not rattle. We strongly disagree with the fitting of such devices as it moves the vehicle away from a Nonsense Car and more to a Noddy Car"