View Full Version : Wasps
I really hate them, they serve no purpose, dont do anything, and dont even die if they sting you.
And they always seem to make nests in my roof :mad: :mad:
BanjoMaster
26-04-2003, 21:18
Wasps are the most evil creatures on the planet. The way they just hover in front of your face, I f*ckin' hate them!
Craig David
26-04-2003, 23:47
I was getting some straw bales out of a shed the other day and I saw a small wasps nest about the size of a tennis ball.
Hmm I thought
Next moment one of the litttle shysters stung me on the bollocks.
It had nipped out of the nest, up my trousers without me noticing and wham.
Loads poured out of the nest and I ran off like a wuss.
Little tinkers.
A can of Lynx and a lighter's the only language they understand.
BanjoMaster
26-04-2003, 23:54
Originally posted by Craig David
Next moment one of the litttle shysters stung me on the bollocks.
Ahahaha ouch! :D
PhilMorrison
26-04-2003, 23:57
Ooooof I hope u went back with a can of WD40 and a lighter tho??
Craig David
27-04-2003, 00:09
Originally posted by Phatty
Ooooof I hope u went back with a can of WD40 and a lighter tho??
Lynx and a lighter.
About seven years ago I worked in the jungle in Borneo.
We were surveing Orangutang population (my mate still does it; check out his website on http://www.orangutannetwork.net/outrop.html ; he's got a Phd now).
Anyway....I spent about two months sleeping at the end of a big open shed 20km into the 'pristine tall pole forest' which was basicaly a swampy jungle. The noises in the jungle were terrifying every night. But with the trusty can of Lynx and a lighter I felt safe. There's no animal on God's green earth that'll take blast of that in the face.
Worse for me... I'm a cider drinker. Little beggers never leave me alone in the beer garden.
BanjoMaster
27-04-2003, 00:15
Originally posted by Craig David
With the trusty can of Lynx and a lighter I felt safe. There's no animal on God's green earth that'll take blast of that in the face.
Your forgetting the super spiders from Arachnophobia. They can apparently withstand fire for a couple of minutes and appear to have vocal chords of some sort...
That film scared the sh*te out of me when it first came out!
PhilMorrison
27-04-2003, 00:31
lol yeah I watched that film recently and it sent chills up my spine just because it reminded me how scared I was when I 1st saw it :D
and Siranui, I'm not sure what's worse wasps or cider ;):D:D
dobergoose
27-04-2003, 01:52
wasps are the skinhead of the insect world.
ZXSpectrum
27-04-2003, 08:17
I hate wasps... they are just EVIL!!!
But we are lucky! Saw a documentry ages ago abut insects and it shown somewhere in japan where they are plagued by KILLER Wasps!!! they attack and kill loads every year... You think some of ours grow big? Some of these grow to 3+inches and are pink and black striped... Holly S***! :eek:
>I'm not sure what's worse wasps or cider
Let me guess... you got drunk on scrumpy jack/ white lightning at age 15 and can't touch it since? :)
tbourner
27-04-2003, 12:23
Originally posted by Craig David
Loads poured out of the nest and I ran off like a wuss.
That's what I'd do, hate the little bleeders.
Don't like mosquitoes either, not as scary but you don't know they've got you until you get a nasty itch. sods.
Aren't we getting killer bee's soon, I heard that somewhere, we'll have swarms over here in a few years!
Originally posted by tbourner
Aren't we getting killer bee's soon, I heard that somewhere, we'll have swarms over here in a few years!
They are invading the west coast of America at the moment (oh well !!), but I dont suppose it'll be long before we get them.
If only they'd just kill wasps instead :D
i love using fly/wasp killer on them, costs less than a can of lynx, and you get to hear them suffer, actually quite amusing, or am i just mentally deranged:D ;)
> Some of these grow to 3+inches and are pink and black striped... Holly S***!
i've seen one that was pinky red colour when i was 9 ish. christ we thought we cud here a helicopter, then looked around and then this bloody great big pink thing started dive bombing me and me sister we legged it inside i slammed patio door shut after me, sister ran straight into it :D then i let her in, she weren't happy!
Was camping on a Greek island years ago and went to get a drink from one of those fountain things. Went to put my head down near it and then suddenly realised there was a bloody great Hornet drinking already:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
...I'll come back later (makes very quick exit)
"time for a sharp exit, time for a cool sharp harp"
theres a pub that still serve's this and i'm yet to try it! think i'll give it ago on wednesday wehn im next in there.
turbo pete
28-04-2003, 13:37
funnily enough my dad had a wasp nest under the floor in his house. They were using a brick vent as an entrance exit. My sis was home and is terrified of them and complained bitterly to dad. He gave her a big lecture on ignoring them as they were harmless, not flapping cos it irritates them and just leaving them alone. etc.....
Two minutes later one of them stung his arm. Unprovoked.
Dad went loopy. Dissappeared into the garage and came out with a tape measure.
Shortly afterwards he returned with a roll of tape and cardboard squares and he proceeded to tape up every vent in the house bar one. He then pumped enough wasp killer spray into the open vent to kill half the population of the hebrides.
I couldn't stop laughing. Nor could my sis.
The_Boy_Mac_2
28-04-2003, 14:02
I got stung by a Bee
20 quid for a pot of honey...
Originally posted by turbo pete
funnily enough my dad had a wasp nest under the floor in his house. They were using a brick vent as an entrance exit. My sis was home and is terrified of them and complained bitterly to dad. He gave her a big lecture on ignoring them as they were harmless, not flapping cos it irritates them and just leaving them alone. etc.....
Two minutes later one of them stung his arm. Unprovoked.
Dad went loopy. Dissappeared into the garage and came out with a tape measure.
Shortly afterwards he returned with a roll of tape and cardboard squares and he proceeded to tape up every vent in the house bar one. He then pumped enough wasp killer spray into the open vent to kill half the population of the hebrides.
I couldn't stop laughing. Nor could my sis.
lol. My dad did that once, except he left two holes open, and they were clever enough to use one as an entrance and the other as an exit.
So he just should by the exit hole with a vacuum cleaner and sucked them all up as they came out :D :D :D
Damn good fun..... until it cam to opening the vacuum cleaner :eek: :eek:
Easy way to get them away from you....
If you are eating outside... try putting a big glass of water with sugar in (or maybe a big bowl) on the floor next to the table or on a bit of table away from everything else.... This draws the wasps to the sugar because it is sweet and they LOVE sweet things.. problem solved... you occasionally get the naughty ones that try to dive bomb you, but just hit em.... with anything you have to hand... even your hand is a good choice...
I used to live out in the country with my folkes... so got this every summer time.... I suppose you just get used to it...
If you ever get a nest... best thing is to set it on fire....
I came across a MASSIVE bee's nest... that is the time to run....
ZXSpectrum
28-04-2003, 15:01
I came across a MASSIVE bee's nest... that is the time to run....
I would think you would run away i you came across it.... :eek:
Oh i get it... now...
Sorry i will get my coat...
:D
My dad used to keep bees, dopey buggers. They won't sting you unless you REALLY provoke them (because they know they'll die). If you see a swarm though, run for you fcuking life and get inside / in a pond etc.
Dave
Originally posted by Dave_S
If you see a swarm though, run for you fcuking life and get inside / in a pond etc.Dave
I run if i see 1 let alone a swarm :mad: :mad: :mad:
ZXSpectrum
28-04-2003, 15:33
Aparently you should NOT jump in a pond as bees aren not stupid and will wait till you come up for air and then get you!!!
There is no way to save yourself... the killer bees... wasnt there a film about that with Michael Cain in it? I cant remember now?
However, if you do have a Queen beer after you... you might aswell lie down and die if you are in open air because you get the WHOLE hive after you:eek: :eek: :(
I'd hate to get done by the queen...:mad: :eek:
That has got to burn!:mad: :mad:
Originally posted by Tim Simpson
There is no way to save yourself... the killer bees... wasnt there a film about that with Michael Cain in it? I cant remember now?
Swarm - excellent its-midnight-I-want-to-go-to-sleep-but-cant fare. :)
I think in that the bees just fcuked off somewhere - maybe thats the answer??
ZXSpectrum
28-04-2003, 16:49
Makes you want to drive a VW Beetle and live clost to a Ice rink where you can take the temp down low to kill all of them... :D
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