Mad Max
11-04-2003, 20:29
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't think I should have to answer that
question.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the
application of these two different functions of government
in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services
to the American people.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of
the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.
The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other
side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a
gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking
American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road,
but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the
road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a
support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can
real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking
about your money, money the government took from you to
build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that
chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's
market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it
obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of
your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort
out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it
crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without having their
motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we
will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time,
the heartwarming story of how it has a serious case of
molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of
crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in
peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and
we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on
it.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I
will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes!
How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that
the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual
insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook- and Internet Explorer
is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did
the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken
please?
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said
unto the chicken "Thou shalt cross the road." And the
chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one.
GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't think I should have to answer that
question.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the
application of these two different functions of government
in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services
to the American people.
RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of
the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed.
The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other
side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a
gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking
American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road,
but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the
road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a
support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can
real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking
about your money, money the government took from you to
build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that
chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's
market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it
obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of
your face? The chicken was going to the "other side."
That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort
out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it
crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all
chickens will be free to cross roads without having their
motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the
road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we
will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time,
the heartwarming story of how it has a serious case of
molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of
crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in
peace.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and
we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on
it.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I
will defend to the death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes!
How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that
the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual
insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook- and Internet Explorer
is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did
the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken
please?
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said
unto the chicken "Thou shalt cross the road." And the
chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one.