D
07-04-2003, 18:21
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next,
when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Hussein?" a heavily accented voice said, "Dis is Paddy, down at
the Harp & Fiddle Pub in County Sligo, Ireland, so it is. Oy'mringin' to
inform you dat we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy, this is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Roit now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "Dere's meself, me
cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus and the entire darts team from
the Pub. Dat makes eight! ... an' me dog."
Saddam paused, "I must tell you Paddy, that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."
"Jaysus, now!" said Paddy. "Oi'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, the next day Paddy called again.
"Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We've managed to acquire some infantry
equipment."
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well now, we have two combines, a D9 bulldozer and Murphy's farm tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000
armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to 1 ½ million
since we last spoke."
Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on!
We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's
ultra-light crop sprayer with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit and four
boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well."
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
you Paddy, that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jaysus, Mary and Joseph!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy called the next day. "Top of the mornin', Mr. Hussein! I
am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that." said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart."
"Well," said Paddy, "We've all had a long chat over a few pints of the
Guinness, and we don't tink dere's any feckin' way we can feed two million
prisoners."
:D
when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Hussein?" a heavily accented voice said, "Dis is Paddy, down at
the Harp & Fiddle Pub in County Sligo, Ireland, so it is. Oy'mringin' to
inform you dat we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy, this is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Roit now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "Dere's meself, me
cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus and the entire darts team from
the Pub. Dat makes eight! ... an' me dog."
Saddam paused, "I must tell you Paddy, that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."
"Jaysus, now!" said Paddy. "Oi'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, the next day Paddy called again.
"Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We've managed to acquire some infantry
equipment."
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well now, we have two combines, a D9 bulldozer and Murphy's farm tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000
armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to 1 ½ million
since we last spoke."
Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on!
We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's
ultra-light crop sprayer with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit and four
boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well."
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
you Paddy, that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jaysus, Mary and Joseph!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy called the next day. "Top of the mornin', Mr. Hussein! I
am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that." said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart."
"Well," said Paddy, "We've all had a long chat over a few pints of the
Guinness, and we don't tink dere's any feckin' way we can feed two million
prisoners."
:D