View Full Version : Scorilla Vs Porcuphant
Chris_Lacey
12-03-2003, 14:33
Scorilla, Leather and Sunglasses clad Scorpion Gorilla monstrosity, weighing 600 Lbs, equiped with stinger, studs and laser beams.
Porcuphant, Kevlar clad, Titanium spiked Elephant with Trunk RPG and laser tusks, weighing in at 4000 LBs.
Who would win in a wight, reasons why, and possible scenario.
You seem to have forgotten SCORILLA has big old claws aswell and weighs in at a hefty 1500Lbs... also has spiked knuckle dusters :rolleyes:
Chris_Lacey
12-03-2003, 14:38
No way does Scorilla weigh 1500Lbs. If he does (counting ammo etc) then Porcuphant weighs about 6000Lbs, due to all that Kevlar and Titanium!
Sorry, did forget the knuckle dusters, but I also forgot Porcuphants super sonic hearing and sonic trunk blast.
SCORILLA's smarter than your average bear... (errr... no wait:confused: )
I mean, 'heavier than your average silverback'..
Chris_Lacey
12-03-2003, 14:44
If it's a stalemate, Porcuphant will win. Elephants live longer than Gorillas :) I WIN!!!!
erm... have I stumbled into another dimension...... wha.... oh I see, I'll get mi coat:p ;)
Your all mad! which is good cos so am i! :p
Er, I would say that its gotta be the prcuphant I'm afraid, how would scorrilla get clos enough to use its sting and knuckle dusters? true Scorry (as his maes call him) has got lasers, but that sonic trunk and trunk mounted RPG would put Porcuphant ahead in the pure destruction stakes.
Al, we need your vote...! :o
Elephants work as circus animals though, i'm sure he would'nt like to spend the rest of his days prancing about with a midget on his back would he?:confused: he'd probably end up at the bottom of beachy head after a night in with the anti depressants and bottles of vodka...
If not he would be poached for his kelvar tusks and titanium spines...
That is of coarse if it was a stalemate... ;)
wouldnt scorrilla get easily distracted by bananas and such?
Possibly, he's pretty focused usually, it depends on his frame of mind....
He gets laid so often, he does'nt have time to get distracted...
Ah so he does get distracted by HIS banana then
gaz.thomas
12-03-2003, 14:59
Scorilla would be far more maneuverable and force porcuphant to impale his trunk on his own freaky spikes
Gaz
-x-
took the words right out of my mouth (gaz, that is...);)
nah, Scorrilla would be too busy playing with his banana and would get stomped by the mighty porcuphant.
gaz.thomas
12-03-2003, 15:06
My money would still be on my small stable of mutated animals as neither scorilla nor porcuphant have aerial capabilities. Longoose, for example, despite his small stature could be in and out - job done before they knew what hit 'em
Gaz
-x-
well my army of kamikaze baboons with there unbearable massive red @rses and thermo nuclear backpacks would reign supreme!
Scorilla ai'nt that much smaller than porchuphant, he's soooo... much more agile and stronger proportionally...
How about this...
Tag Team :D
Scorilla & Longoose
Versus
Porchuphant & Swabra
Who would win? :eek:
gaz.thomas
12-03-2003, 15:13
Longoose would take out Swabra straight away - no messin' - it's what he was designed for after all so scorilla would just have to hold off porcuphant long enough for longoose to regain his composure so they could double-team him. Easy really.
Gaz
-x-
Chris_Lacey
12-03-2003, 15:15
Porcuphant is the master of destruction, being almost immune to rear attacks he is able to focus the full fury of his attacks on his smaller more nimble oponent.
well I'm gonn ahave to tear myself away from this exciting bout as I am skiving off early today (the joys of flexi time!) see you guys later.
Long live Porcuphant!
SCORILLA rules!
sting.. sting.. claw.. claw...
swing from those trees you crazy beast!:eek:
Nathan_200sx
12-03-2003, 16:09
Remember scorilla has jet boots and is on steroids so he will be larger than your avereage eerrrmm scorilla? also that lard arse porcuphant will be to busy feasting on peanuts to notice scorilla aproaching, did I also mention scorilla is a kung foo master
all the points you have made are good, but i need more convincing before i vote who wins!! :p
Will Taylor
12-03-2003, 16:14
The porcuphant is armoured, so the scorillas weaponry would be ineffective. The scorilla however is totally unarmoured, and is not in any position to defend aginst laser and missile attacks.
Nathan_200sx
12-03-2003, 16:15
Scorilla was also abduted by the vulcans at an early age and is profitiant with the vulcan death grip. he can punch through 15 houses, leap 100 feet into the air, eat marmite without being sick and tap dance. what a deadly foe
Scorilla would be very vunerable to the flying *****les of the porchuphant.
At close range, the scorilla would have an advantage due to the claws.
However, I think that both could be bettered by a monbra or alternatively the sheer psychotic nature of a piteel.
Nathan_200sx
12-03-2003, 16:17
Originally posted by Will Taylor
The porcuphant is armoured, so the scorillas weaponry would be ineffective. The scorilla however is totally unarmoured, and is not in any position to defend aginst laser and missile attacks.
His lasers can penatrate kevlar and he's so fast that peanut muching blubber boy would never get a shot on target
Here are just a few points as to why Scorilla rules...
1) Gorillas are renouned for there strength and agility
2) Gorillas are more intelligent than elephants
3) Scorpion poison is deadly! (scorillas poison is anyway:rolleyes: )
4) Scorpion claws have a long reach and crushing abilities
5) Scorilla is high on steroids (overly aggresive)
6) Scorilla wears sunglasses, and knows how to charm the ladies...
7) Scorilla is a bad ass, upper class cold mother f*cker!
stoopid forum filters
the ***ed word was actually
pr ick les
Will Taylor
12-03-2003, 16:20
There is actually a pc game out that lets you solve all these debates once and for all - can't remember it's name, but it lets you combine animals dna and have exactly these sorts of fights. Marvelous.
All very well in a game, but what about real life? (thats the important issue!);)
gaz.thomas
12-03-2003, 16:23
Nothing will defeat the combined power of scorilla and longoose.
Gaz
-x-
Originally posted by gaz.thomas
Nothing will defeat the combined power of scorilla and longoose.
Gaz
-x-
what about if the scorilla and longoose went for an underneath attack on the porcuphants bo**ocks and the porcuphant aimed one of those giant dumps at the above mentioned, that would surely f*** their navigation systems!:p :p :D
if everyone loves the scorilla, why is the porcuphant winning the poll??:confused:
(i voted for the scoilla);)
gaz.thomas
12-03-2003, 16:38
I'm not sure about the technical details for the scorilla guidance control but longoose is laser-guided. The only problem is if the heat of the turd is greater than the noise threshold for the laser guidance system. Depends on whether porcuphant had been eating peanuts or balti really ;-)
Gaz
-x-
The Ultimate contenders...
Scorilla and Longoose:eek:
what would the result be in each case, or worse still...........
WHAT IF THE PORCUPHANT HAD BEEN EATING BOTH:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: !
Scorilla ca'nt be eaten, remember he is posionous?!:rolleyes:
Or do you mean 'eating' in a love kinda way?:eek:
Thats a bit sick!, still, i think thats all porcuphant would be able to do after he got beaten!;)
Nathan_200sx
12-03-2003, 16:53
scorrilla as a baby
Originally posted by gaz.thomas
Depends on whether porcuphant had been eating peanuts or balti really ;-)
Gaz
-x-
sorry, when i said eating both, I meant peanuts or balti, gaz, i await your reply
gaz.thomas
12-03-2003, 17:16
Ok - I'm no doodoo engineer but I would hypothesise that the peanut poo, while high in protein, would have a fairly low thermal coefficient. The balti poo (as anyone who has ever eaten in Sparkbrook will testify) could burn the hair off Satan's @rse - hence the interference with the guidance system. I've no idea how the two toxic substances would interact but i'm sure neither longoose or scorilla would be daft enough to get themselves in that position.
Gaz
-x-
MattyGee
12-03-2003, 18:05
the picture swung my vote towards the scorilla :D
i love this kind of thread - totally mental :)
HAHA! :D Big laugh at the pic of Scorrilla, someone has way too much time on their hands! Although i must point out you just ruined Scorrilla's cool and also made it obvious he would lose, HE IS A GINGER!!!!
BanjoMaster
12-03-2003, 18:45
I've heard there'll be a new kid on the Ridiculous Animals Fighting Circus soon. The offspring of an unholy alliance between a squirrel and a donkey, 'Squonkey' is small, stubborn and very, very ugly. It remains to be seen whether he can face up to the mighty Porcuphant though...
MattyGee
12-03-2003, 18:48
"Squonky" !!!
pure genius :D ROFLMAO ! :D
I'm sure it will be able to bully scorrilla out of the ring though with enough ginger related comments. Will bring back all the days of the school yard and the cruel cruel taunts of the other more fortunate scorrillas "ginger minger!"
Originally posted by gaz.thomas
Longoose would take out Swabra straight away - no messin' - it's what he was designed for after all so scorilla would just have to hold off porcuphant long enough for longoose to regain his composure so they could double-team him. Easy really.
Gaz
-x-
WHat's a longoose a cross of?
Originally posted by Will Taylor
There is actually a pc game out that lets you solve all these debates once and for all - can't remember it's name, but it lets you combine animals dna and have exactly these sorts of fights. Marvelous.
I'm sure there's beer in it if you can track this down...
Nuts - you're all nuts...:eek:
i was racking my brains last night and ive come up with a new creation... a PIGEANTHOG;) :cool: it's twice the size of a normal pigeon but still quite small so the porcuphant would have trouble hitting it. It's able to lift 100 times its own weight and fly at supersonic speeds, it would have armour plating like an ant with spikes for extra protection and it can roll itself up in a ball to defend attacks while its on the ground. It has sharpened claws for close range attacks, can spit deadly acid and everyone knows that when a pigoen aims a sh** its more accurate than america's bombs;) . So this pigoen has mega acid sh** which can penetrate any armour that the porcuphant might have:cool: :cool: :p
Defeating the Pigeanthog will be the skouse. A particularly stinky kind of louse, the souse buries its eggs in the feathers of the pigeanthog and the larvae hatch into the skin. Because of all the armour, the pigeanthog can't preen itself.
ah, but it doesn't have feathers, it has spikes, and fleas, specially trained by myself to attack everything,as an onboard defense system, so the scouse would be bitten to death:p :p
HA HA, the pigeanthog lives on;) :cool:
gaz.thomas
13-03-2003, 09:30
Starionman - The longoose and flion are fully detailed in the thread Wtf further down the non-***** chat. The thread may also give an indication of what initiated this madness.
Longoose and Scorilla - The champions
Gaz
-x-
Chris_Lacey
13-03-2003, 09:38
Despite his impressive size and armour plating, the combination of Scorilla and Longoose is too much to deal with solo, however, I draw your attention to his compatriot, Swobra, the evil concoction of Swan and Cobra, poison utterly deadly, and his tefflon coated armour makes him impervious to the laser attacks.
Come on guys, VOTE PORCUPHANT AND SWOBRA
gaz.thomas
13-03-2003, 10:27
Look - I've already explained this. Swabra is based on a cobra. Longoose on a mongoose. Longoose is designed to kick the ass of Swabra. It's what he is bred for. Scorilla would just have to hold off porcuphant solo until longoose had disposed of the swabworm...sorry swabra before they double team the overweight proboscid.
Gaz
-x-
Chris_Lacey
13-03-2003, 10:31
An interesting fact is that a mongoose is only able to deal with one variety of Cobra, the Cobra I am thinking of is a genetic hybrid whose poison is a combination of Cyanide and Sunny D. One bite and your ridiculous creation is going down my friend.
gaz.thomas
13-03-2003, 10:37
The cobra you're thinking of??? You mean you don't have it ready to fight???
If we're doing that then I'll just make up an animal shall I - that'd make it much easier. How do you expect my highly trained longoose to fight an imaginary worm. You're just being silly now.
Gaz
-x-
Chris_Lacey
13-03-2003, 10:48
Bah, prove that you have a ready and working Longoose by taking out Mothra, then I'll believe you. Otherwise, it's just Scorilla and Porcuphant in a one on one.
gaz.thomas
13-03-2003, 11:03
I don't believe you've provided a description of Mothra - is this another genetic mutant you're 'thinking of'??? Or is it just a moth in a small brassiere?...Oooooo scary...
Gaz
-x-
Chris_Lacey
13-03-2003, 11:42
Mothra is a cult Japanese monster. Was finally defeated by Godzilla a while back.
RichSeal
13-03-2003, 12:10
I think I've just peed myself laughing at this thread :D
its not funny! this is a serious debate ;)
RichSeal
13-03-2003, 12:20
Originally posted by John D
its not funny! this is a serious debate ;)
You misunderstand me, I laugh because I know for a fact the eaganther would rule over all others mentioned here. The sharp eyes, wings and intelligence of an eagle combined with the claws, sharp teeth, powerful body and agression of the panther. Plus it has laser beem claws, body armour and drops eagle poop bombs that can destroy small villages in one go :D:D
How could you aviod its swooping diving attack, coming straight out of the sun, so you can't see him until its too late and you are pooped :D There would be no escape!
Sounds pretty okay... :rolleyes:
need to change the name though.. maybe 'Pantagle' hmmm... then again maybe not :confused:
gaz.thomas
13-03-2003, 13:13
Where in nuneaton do you keep your pantagle?
Gaz
-x-
gaz.thomas
13-03-2003, 13:14
how can longoose fight mothra if godzilla has already defeated it??? I don't think you're taking this at all seriously.
Gaz
-x-
Some people ehhh...? :rolleyes:
Just do'nt know when they're wrong... ;)
gaz.thomas
13-03-2003, 13:22
Look. I've invested a lot of time and energy in breeding and training my longoose and i don't think he is being given the respect he deserves. I could 'make up' a creature to kick his ass but that's hardly the point is it. I just feel that a slight on the character of my longoose is akin to attacking my car. It's not on. This is a serious thread and i don't appreciate ...hang on... longoose needs feeding ...now where did i leave that swabra...
Gaz
-x-
Well said, we need real animals on this forum, like Scorilla and Longoose... not imaginary super mutants :rolleyes:
Hang on a sec... me scorilla's playing with his bannana again :eek: :eek:
Chris_Lacey
13-03-2003, 13:40
Porcuphant is real.
Stop being mean to him, Elephants never forget :(
Originally posted by Chris_Lacey
Porcuphant is real.
Stop being mean to him, Elephants never forget :(
But, if he's being attacked by Scorilla, Flion or Piteel, I doubt that this minor incident will be top of his mind.
Piteel rules btw.
Chris_Lacey
13-03-2003, 14:05
Piteel? WTF is Piteel.
I laugh at you, you son of a silly person.
my pigeanthog was real, but you lot didn't like it,:( :( so I fed it an alkaseltzer and it exploded:D
Chris_Lacey
13-03-2003, 14:12
Originally posted by moondogr
my pigeanthog was real, but you lot didn't like it,:( :( so I fed it an alkaseltzer and it exploded:D
Croool!
Like Cool and Cruel combined :p
Ashworth
13-03-2003, 14:13
Originally posted by Delboy
well my army of kamikaze baboons with there unbearable massive red @rses and thermo nuclear backpacks would reign supreme!
just pissed myself laughing....:p :D
Chris_Lacey
13-03-2003, 14:26
Then you need Tena ultra absorbent panty liners..
Ashworth
13-03-2003, 14:32
not if im in my gimp suit
Originally posted by Chris_Lacey
Piteel? WTF is Piteel.
I laugh at you, you son of a silly person.
Piteel is the most fearsome of beasts.
A mutation of a Pit Bull Terrier and an electric eel, Piteel has the unstoppable jaw strenght of the terrier mulitplied through every muscle of its body. Even in death it can not be unclamped from its vice like grip that it maintains around its prey as it delivers a googlejoule of electrical discharge which comes direct form its eel DNA> To make life worse, Piteel is encased in lightened titanium alloy reinforced with DU.
In a fight with Piteel, you can not win. Kill Piteel (although no-one quite yet knows how) and youl'' have to remove it cell by cell from your body.
Now tell me Piteel doesn't rule.
Piteel doesn't rule...
(sorry, you did ask to tell you that piteel does'nt rule :rolleyes: )
Originally posted by Ashworth
just pissed myself ....:p :D
An effective Scorilla repellant - or so I'm told.
wait a minute... I've just found a cocksaur:)
This formidable beast is the successful mutation of cockrel and dinosaur DNA. With skin four inches thick it stands a massive 30m to the beak, and oh what a beak! Capable of delivering a 30 kilotonne peck every 1/10th of a second! If this fails it'll just stomp all over yer @ss and lay an egg on ya:p
Now then where's that frying pan....
Am i the only one worried by Al's latest find?
hmmm see what you mean:o maybee I should have called it Dinorel... sound like artificial sweetner though
Hmmmm.... thats not really fair is it?:rolleyes:
The animals need to be alive when ya mutalate them... ...no jurassic park, hardened nectar nonsense :rolleyes: ;)
Okay, errr... i'll just add a bit of dinosaur Dna to my next Scorilla.... 'Scorillasauras' :eek:
Scorilla who's 40m to the sting in his tail...
Like the 30 kilotonne peck... Awsome :eek: ;)
or to put it another way, the cocksaur - snigger - is a 30m pecker :eek:
Chris_Lacey
14-03-2003, 09:50
This thread is officially stupid :)
:D :D
It took you 5 pages to notice?!?!?!?
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