New evening classes for men and women!! All are welcome!!

[AndyT]

EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN. Starting this month!

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each.

1. How to fill ice-cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation.
2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders? Round-table discussion.
3. Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. Pictures and explanatory graphics.
4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video.
5. Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant other. Help line and support groups.
6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.
7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and audio tape.
8. Real men ask for directions when lost. Real-life testimonials.
9. Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks? Driving simulation.
10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife. Online class and role-playing.
11. How to be the ideal shopping companion. Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.
12. How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you're going to be late. Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.


CLASSES FOR WOMEN

Women think they already know everything, but wait, training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First
8. Communication Skills II : Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking (ha ha)
13. Advanced Parking: Reversing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21. Classic Footwear: Wearing Shoes You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Petrol: Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

[Hayley]

You forgot one for men:

NOT putting this where your wife can see it. It WILL lead to sleeping with the dog tonight. :mad:

[Nathan_200sx]

LMAO :D:D:D all sadley true ;)

[Nathan_200sx]

Originally posted by Hayley
You forgot one for men:

NOT putting this where your wife can see it. It WILL lead to sleeping with the dog tonight. :mad:

Ouch! someones in trouble, bunch of flowers on ya way home tonight andy ;)

[shadowninja]

hahaha printed out the classes for men, will need it since my wife's piSSed off!

and unlucky, Andy, best get yourself some platemail armour ;)

[Hayley]

Hey, I'm a lovely, kind, gentle person. :D

[Dave_S]

PMSL! :D

and

LMAO @ Hayley :D

Dave

[Leon]

Originally posted by AndyT
2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders? Round-table discussion.

What's the bloody good of that? are they found on tables?


4. The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink? Examples on video.
Ohh he's got silverware. Right, round to his then ;)

6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open forum.
And this accomplishes what exactly? Roaring is a male trait that demonstrates
a) the importance of the missing object
b) our masculinity


7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and audio tape. Unless you suffer from Hayfever

10. Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife. Online class and role-playing.
Sigmund spins in his grave...


CLASSES FOR WOMEN

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
Spoilsport

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
How much? And why? Isn't the side of the bath good enough?

17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People Olfactory fumes included

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To but how they would if they too had breasts

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together and getting pink shirts from red socks and white shirts

[TAC]

Originally posted by AndyT
2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders? As far as I'm concerned, yes, they do :D
3. Differences between the laundry basket and the floor. No difference until laundry day :eek:
6. Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming I tend to stand in the place where I think the thing SHOULD be and look intently, not noticing that it's 10 yards away in full view :D
7. Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health Yeah, we like flowers :D:D:D
8. Real men ask for directions when lost. Ohhh yesss. It's rare, but it does happen occasionally :D

CLASSES FOR WOMEN

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging Difficult, when every attempt to provide "positive input" is interpreted as nagging :rolleyes: :D 10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire We drive safely...but most of us achieve is by going at 20 mph :mad:
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully ...but you only make them when you want something ;):D
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice What's "dust" ? :D