PhilMorrison
14-11-2002, 10:50
Subject: BMW drivers
>
> The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my
motorways,
> which was very busy with inferior cars.
>
> First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down
> for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely
> big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The
> driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an
> apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)
>
> Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW
lane.
> (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW
> drivers only?)
>
> Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 95mph enjoying the
> adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an
> inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my
motorway,
> but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!
>
> Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my
> headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway
> and to get out of my way.
>
> Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but
I
> could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!
>
> He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him,
> he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the
> hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
>
> Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man
gave
> me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes
fast!
>
> Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had
to
> take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some
> points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I
was
> only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I
drive
> a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then
I
> won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!
>
> See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!
>
> The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my
motorways,
> which was very busy with inferior cars.
>
> First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down
> for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely
> big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The
> driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an
> apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)
>
> Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW
lane.
> (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW
> drivers only?)
>
> Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 95mph enjoying the
> adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an
> inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my
motorway,
> but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!
>
> Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my
> headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway
> and to get out of my way.
>
> Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but
I
> could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!
>
> He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him,
> he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the
> hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.
>
> Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man
gave
> me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes
fast!
>
> Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had
to
> take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some
> points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I
was
> only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I
drive
> a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then
I
> won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!
>
> See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW!