Real Helpdesk Query

[AshT_200]

Here is a transcript of a call logged today.

User: I have a load of emails on my system that I don't want. Could I arrange for someone to come and remove them.

WTF Haven't they heard of the DELETE key :mad:

[StuyMac]

We used to have a mail system in work called "All-in-one" A sort of green screened office type application designed to run on VT terminals.

The mail option on that was a real pain. Before you could delete your mail, it had to be read, and, in my younger days (not that long ago I may add ;) ), when I was a trainee, we could easy send 1000+ memos per day (between 25 of us), consisting of plain old crap! Now if you had a day or 2 off work, and where included on all the distribution lists, you could come back to 1000's of mail messages, each of which would take 30 seconds to read and delete. Also remember more memos where also piling up :eek: for that day.

It'd take ages to get rid of unwanted mail :(

..............Still, the good ol' aprentice days :D

[AshT_200]

Yeah, but we've got notes. Just drag to selct the mail then hit the delete key.

[Will Taylor]

The process failed : please replace the user, and try again.

[Jeff]

Reminds me of this one (appologies for arrows, can't be bothered to remove them), would surely suit the person you spoke to:

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO EMPLOYEES
> > >
> > > Corporate has determined that there is no longer any need for
> > > network
or
> > > software applications support. (See below) The goal is to remove
> > > all computers from the desktop. Instead, everyone will be provided

> > > with an Etch-A-Sketch.
> > >
> > > The reasons:
> > > 1. No technical glitches keeping work from being done.
> > > 2. No more wasted time reading and writing email.
> > >
> > > Frequently Asked Questions for Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support:
> > > Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over
> > > the
> > screen.
> > > A: Pick it up and shake it.
> > > Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
> > > A: Pick it up and shake it.
> > > Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
> > > A: Pick it up and shake it.
> > > Q: How do I create a New Document window?
> > > A: Pick it up and shake it.
> > > Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour?
> > > A: Pick it up and shake it.
> > > Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
> > > A: Pick it up and shake it.
> > > Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
> > > A: Pick it up and shake it.
> > > Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
> > > A: Don't pick it up and shake it.

[Cookie]

Best mail system in the world "Lotus Notes and Domino"™

C.
(Notes and Domino™ Consultant for eight years)

[Leon]

Call into my call-centre
"Could you please send a crew out to this ATM, we suspect that it has been vandalised"

Later the crew call in
"Yup, this ATM has been vandalised alright. Someone has introduced prawn crackers into the card reader"...

well, it made me chuckle!

[AshT_200]

Originally posted by Cookie
Best mail system in the world "Lotus Notes and Domino"™

C.
(Notes and Domino™ Consultant for eight years)

Certainly is, you'd better look at the Domino Post in Non 200.:)

[Will Taylor]

Reminds me of that scene in American Psycho - He's at the cash point, and it says to him "feed me a stray cat" - he puts the cat against the cash slot and puts his gun against the cat...