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turbo pete
16-07-2002, 00:31
I am marking gcse papers and 99% of the time it is intensely boring. However, the odd answer makes me laugh. here are a few. They are all it exams.


A secretary wants to insert the names of everyone on her database onto a ticket so that the tickets are personalised. What feature would she use to do this.

answer: Tortoise. WTF? Is this pupil on drugs. the answer should be mail merge.


Question.
a pupils has decided to use the internet to research a topic for a school report instead of using books at his local library. Name two advantages of using books rather than the internet.

Answer.
One advantage of using books is that the pupil won't get side tracked into playing online games and surfing porn sites.

Top answer. unfortunately it wasn't on my mark scheme.


Essay Question.
discuss advantages and disadvantages of using database and spreadsheet packages in the business world.

about 3/4 of the way in to the essay he writes

one disadvantage of offices using database and spreadsheet packages is that I get asked to write a poxy essay about the dam subject of which I know cock all. still I could have been asked to write about the data protection act and then I would really have been screwed.


What planet are some of these pupils on???????


I fear the worst for tomorrows generation.


I must be getting old.

turbo pete
Jezz_S13
16-07-2002, 08:12
Quality, reminds me of being at school. :D:D:D
Nick_Walczak
16-07-2002, 08:35
I remember getting very frustrated in a computer science logic exam. I had to prove some formula equalled another and I ended up writing:

"It just does OK?"

I'd like to see him prove that wrong :)
JB
16-07-2002, 09:49
Quality:D Gives me hope for the next generation of staff I'll be taking on :eek: :confused: :confused:

Anyway, cheer up it'll soon be time for you annual 14 week holiday won't it :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
shadowninja
16-07-2002, 11:07
Ahhh yes I remember my Geometry And Topology exam at the end of my Maths Degree...

I wrote a little poem...

"If I am a little bubble on a bubble stick
The line around my tummy is my geodesic."

Entirely correct, too! :D
TAC
16-07-2002, 22:31
Originally posted by turbo pete
IQuestion.
a pupils has decided to use the internet to research a topic for a school report instead of using books at his local library. Name two advantages of using books rather than the internet.

Answer.
One advantage of using books is that the pupil won't get side tracked into playing online games and surfing porn sites.

Top answer. unfortunately it wasn't on my mark scheme

:D:D ...You teachers just lack imagination! :) Why stick to the mark scheme when an answer's so obviously right?!:p
GrahamB
17-07-2002, 00:03
Originally posted by shadowninja
"If I am a little bubble on a bubble stick
The line around my tummy is my geodesic."

Sad, sad, for God's sake get out more :D:D:D
shadowninja
17-07-2002, 01:11
Originally posted by GrahamB


Sad, sad, for God's sake get out more :D:D:D

that was the problem. I "got out" too much at university, hence I had plenty of time to think up the poem during the 3 hour exam ;)

still, I loved those 3 years of partying!! :D
Filmidget
17-07-2002, 10:00
Two points:

1) I am impressed he knew how to spell tortoise.

2) Seriously (OK, well almost) - the online games/porn answer IS a correct answer to that question isn't it? So it's not on your marking scheme? So what? He answered the question.

;) :)

Cheers, Phil
Nick_Walczak
17-07-2002, 10:04
Originally posted by shadowninja


still, I loved those 3 years of partying!! :D
:D Yep, I also found the degree course itself a complete waste of time but Uni itself was just superb.