New Element Discovered

[Chris_Lacey]

Researchers recently discovered the heaviest element known to science:
> Administratium.
>
> Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons
> and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
>
> These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are
> surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
>
> Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
> detected in that it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact.
> A minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction
> to take more than four days to complete when it would normally take less
> than one second.
>
> Administratium has a normal half-life of three years. It does not decay,
but
> instead undergoes a reorganization in which a number of the assistant
> neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange
places.
> In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase
> over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become
neutrons,
> forming isodopes.
>
> This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate
> that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
> concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
> referred to as 'critical moron-mass'. You will know it when you see it!

[JB]

How true :D :D :D :D :D

[StuyMac]

Its the oppisite where I work - too many Chiefs and not enough Indians :(

[Chris_Lacey]

That's the same everywhere isn't it Stuy? Well everywhere I've worked anyhow!

[StuyMac]

Originally posted by Chris_Lacey
That's the same everywhere isn't it Stuy? Well everywhere I've worked anyhow!

True, as you get higher in the managements tree the words used seem to get bigger, but the intelligence and common sence seem to get less.

[Phil L]

Talking about management...reminds me of this joke...

Lesson Number One
*****************
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two
*****************
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Number Three
*******************
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other
parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the ****!

Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.

Lesson Number Four
******************
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops **** on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep ****, keep your mouth shut!

[RichSeal]

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

How True that is!

[Alec]

Many a thing said in jest and all that :D