Sensible suggestions please......

[Dai]

OK you lot. I need your help.
As Head Of Year, I have to give a speech at the school Prom on Friday.:eek: I need some good, clean jokes, opening lines, one liners to set off the evening.
You know the sort of thing.
Anyone got any suggestions??

All will be considered :D :D

Cheers
Dai

[D]

Any prospective-PGCE, wantstogetintoteaching, mentoring places available at your school, oh mighty head of year? ;)

[Leon]

I had to give numerous speeches as Head Boy (!)
My last one was cooked up in 5 minutes in a local cafe and was generally:
"Take every opportunity you have. RGS(school) is a net that allows you the freedom to try everything, find what you like and then take that to new levels. Go and enjoy"
or some other such balls

[Chris_Lacey]

Why not be really controversial? Point out the numbing enivatibility of full time work, the gradual mind numbing disappointment as you realise your hopes and dreams will seldom be realised, and that pretty much you have the next 40 years to look forward to other peoples stupidity and then you have a 10 year breather before you pop your clogs and the only people who give a monkeys are your immediate familly, who will have forgotten you in due course as well, except to say to future generations "he is your great grandad", he didn't do anything much really, but he could tell some good jokes I'm told.

What a fecking pointless existence.

:( :( :( :(

Not having a good day.

Chris

[Andy]

There was that song thing a couple of years ago
- something about ladies and gentlemen - Wear
sunscreen blah, blah, blah, blah ........

[AshT_200]

Why not just say, I did have a speech, but I'll think I'l just shag the prom queen. If she's worth it ;)

[Ninja]

Starionman was that RGS in Guildford? where u from?