Little Johnny

[Leon]

A teacher asks her class, " If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they will all fly
away with the first gun shot."
The teacher replies, " The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."


LITTLE JOHNNY . . . ON MATH:
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
Why? " asks the father?
The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said "6" replies Johnny.
"But that's right!"
but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'
"What's the fking difference? " asks the father.
"That's what I said! "

LITTLE JOHNNY . . . ON ENGLISH:
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?
Johnny says "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful."
Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blow-job."

LITTLE JOHNNY . . . ON GRAMMAR:

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.
"Very good, Suzie", replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
She said, "Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, "Beautiful, just fuking beautiful!'"

[Warnz]

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[djsy69]

little johnny is in class doing needle work when he pr1cks himself "miss, miss, ive pr1cked my finger and i need some stongbow" said johnny " strongbow?, what on earth do you need strongbow for johnny?" replied the teacher, " well miss my sister says that when she gets a pr1ck she puts it in cider"
BOOM BOOM!!!:p

[Leon]

Little April was not the best student in Sunday
school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was
napping, "Tell me, April, who created the
universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny took a pin
and jabbed her in the rear.

"GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher
said, "Very good", and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is
our Lord and Saviour," but, April didn't even
stir from her slumber.

Once again, little Johnny came to the rescue
and stuck her again.

"JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher
said, "Very good," and April fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question.
"What did Eve say to Adam after she had her
twenty-third child?" and again, Johnny jabbed her
with the pin.

This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU
STICK THAT F**KING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME,
I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR A**E!

The Teacher fainted.

[r47463]

A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her
4th grade class because she realizes little Johnny's propensity for
sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.
Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of
sex education from the class.

One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs."
Very good, William." cooed the teacher
"My mommy had a baby," said little Esther. "Oh, that's nice," replied
the teacher.

Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation,
the teacher calls on him. "I was watching TV yesterday, and I saw the
Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians.
And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them
with his two guns."

The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do
with sex education, Johnny?"
"It'll teach those Indians not to **** with the Lone Ranger."