Yet another fun time with the boys in blue

[JB]

Returning home yesterday evening from a pleasant walk on Cannock Chase with the future Mrs JB.

We were driving down a country road when suddenly a blue Mundaneo comes round the bend on the wrong side going far too fast and obviously out of control. Fortunately he's far enough ahead of me for me to be able to stop and pull over safely. As he approaches I flash my lights at him and pap the horn.

I drive off, thinking "tw@t" and think no more about it. Look in my mirror and there he is following me. Now the future Mrs JB being the worlds worst passenger, blasting away from tw@t was not an option, so we continued on our sedate way with matey behind. After about a mile, to my surprise the Mundaneo develops flashing blue lights and a siren, drwas level witth me and tells me to pull over.

I stop, get out and so does Mondaneo bacon. He comes up to me and say, "what's your f*cking problem?". Now I'm not tolerant at the best of times and having just witnessed a display of phenominally incompetant car control by him I was in no mood for this so I replied "Surely, officer you mean what's your f*cking problem, SIR?)

This wound him up and he started ranting about me driving like a boy race and going through a village much too fast so that I would have killed any kids that had been about etc etc etc. By this time the future Mrs JB gets out and starts ranting at him for being a tw@t and gets so wound up she starts yelling at him in French (she is French by the way).

Anyway I've had enough of him and tell him if he doesn't clear off, not only will I make a formal complaint but I'll also phone the police and have him arrested for intimidation. At which point I get my mobile out and start dialing.

This calms him down a bit but he still tries to lecture me, so I tell him to get lost, get in the car and drive off. He's following me again, so I drive to the local nick, walk up to the desk sargeant and tell him I want to make a formal complaint against one of his officers. The officer has followed me in so can provide all his details.

After wasting two hours of my time waiting to see an inspector and me and future Mrs JB making statements, we finally leave, feeling really p!ssed off. Turns out the bacon had been a Special C*ntstable.

At the end of the day all the bacon managed to do was p!ss off another member of middle england, who will tell all his mates, family, colleagues what tw@ts the police are so further alienating them from the people who pay their wages and whome they should be here to help.

Bacon :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

[Dave H]

'W@nker' (repeat about a million times)

[Scottie]

Well done JB. Some of the police driving is of such a low standard its about time more people reported them. A few weeks ago a marked police car jumped a red light on me almost causing a severe accident. SUrely he should have had either blue lights or siren on if he was going to do this. Perhaps he was in a rush somewhere discretely ?? I f***ing doubt it. I followed him as he was going in the same direction and he was only going back to the police station for lunch or something. Tw@ts.

[PhilMorrison]

Fair play to ya. Thats your typicle Bacon Bully, Compensating for his obvious lack of driving skills (and microscopic * * *) with a reaction you'd only expect to see in a playground. Fair play to ya. Most people (probably myself included) would have let him get away with it, so good on ya.

You taking it any further?

[JB]

Originally posted by fattyluvshotdogs
You taking it any further?

You bet. Contacted my solicitor this morning just to make sure my back's covered. Not going to let this one go :D:D:D

[Pikey]

Me and a mate once got pulled for running a red light. I denied it from the start saying the lights were in fact green. The two piggies couldnt even see my lights as they were sat the opposite side of the bridge in a Panda Car. The bridge was at an intersection.

They claimed that as there lights had changed to green, my lights must have been red?!!! He then told me I was going to get three points for running the lights and three points for driving without due care and attention!!! Or I could sign the ticket for the red light and thus only receiving 3 points instead of 6.

To cut a long story short I contested the ticket, went to court and the case was dropped for lack of evidence.

Pikey 1 - Truffle Boys 0

And the lights? Lets just say they were errr, er, late amber

;)

[Kev]

Originally posted by Pikey


Pikey 1 - Truffle Boys 0

And the lights? Lets just say they were errr, er, late amber

;)

PML:D :D :D :D :D
Nice one mate!!!

Jb that is one classy avatar mate PML@ that too

Kev

[Leon]

It wasn't two wasted hours mate. Nice one

[Matt_S]

I was on this course a couple of years back. Something to do with advanced driving techniques...
The course went on for 4 weeks one night a week. It was given by a police driving instructor. Nice chap (but I wouldnt like to meet him outside the classroom if you know what I mean.....)

He told us that a police car should obey the speed limits the same as the rest of us unless its on a shout. WHen it is on a shout the blue lights should be on and if necessary, the two tones on aswell...
If you see a police car speeding without displaying the lights you can report him. Note the time, road and reg etc. All shouts are recorded in their "system".
Someone recently told me that if a policeman/woman gets caught speeding, not only do they get the points the same as you or I, but they also get another disciplinary fine.

Did anyone in Essex see the news last wednesday night (I think). A police car ran a red light at the butt road/southway crossroads (right outside the police station actually). Somehow, the passenger car hit it so hard that it mounted a wall that is in the centre reservation!!! I drove past it just after it happened.
See the write up here....
http://www.thisiscolchester.co.uk/essex/colchester/news/NEWS1.html

This aint nice. I got hit by some old tw@t about six years ago in the same place when he ran the same light. Took three years to go through, but I got a couple of grand out of his insurance.:D

Well, thats my bit.....

[SteveCarter200]

Try this link mate, your one is about an afgan hound.:D

http://www.thisiscolchester.co.uk/essex/colchester/news/NEWS5.html

[simanc26]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by SteveCarter100
[B]Try this link mate, your one is about an afgan hound.:D

Surely thats a Labrador isn't it?:D

[Nathan_200sx]

Originally posted by SteveCarter100
Try this link mate, your one is about an afgan hound.:D

http://www.thisiscolchester.co.uk/essex/colchester/news/NEWS5.html

Hmm they seem to change things a bit on that site, Matt's link is now about young offenders sharing a school with dancers or summit and yours is about a student suicide. Like the story where the judge calls a Taxi diver a dirty old man, made me laugh.

[Matt_S]

Blimey - they update their site quickly dont they!

I was positive I had the write link - I even tested it!

Oh well, they'll probably be link to Mr Carters sideways shinanigans outside said police staion later on ;)

[AshT_200]

It was the right link when I first looked at it.

Don't worry Matt, you're not completely barmey yet... (Just a little;))

[Vez]

I hate the police....

I recently gave on the Bird (just out of politeness) and then drove to my mates house and pulled up outside.

Whilst stationary he roles up behind and starts "You know why we've pulled you over, now ill begine"

to which point I replied "Actually u didnt pull me over I was parked"

Plod 1 to plod 2: "have you done a trace on the plate"

plod 2 to plod 1: "Yeah It doesnt exist"

Me "I am awaiting my log book from the DVLA after changing my Reg"

Plod 1 "what was old reg"

So I told him, and the rest of the vehicle inspection was halted after my mate was pearing over the shoulder of plod 2 (right in his face) to make sure he wasnt fabricationg evidence.

Anyhow, I go into house with massive grin on face and my mate stays and watches them off, whilst shaking his head in disapproval.

They then (in there gay body armour) shout at me "come back here" so I turn round and one runs straight up to me (big guy he was) pointing in my face saying agressively "We pulled you cause you gave us the finger, and what the foocks your mates problem"

to which I replyed "1) I was adjusting my sunvisor (which I actually was in a comedy fashion) and 2) My mate ****ing attitude has got absolutley fooking nothing to do with me"

Well funny seeing a 6 foot brick **** house copper (when Im 5 7' ) look seriously talked down too and well pissed off.

Me and my mate returned to mates house having a good laugh. If someone gives someone else the bird, you ignore it, the police obviously think that they have some power even when you are not breaking any law, this really P15535 me off.

Next time we feel like giving them the bird, we're gonna take a digi cam and video the proceedings for evidence, this really was a case of Police intimidation and obviously didnt have a clue about joe publics civil rights ;)

I manage to get pulled lots of times, last time was setting up a sideways drift in the dry round a roundabout, got the tyres spealling, ready to floor it, then saw the coppers...arrrgh!

Blasted down the bypass and got pulled.

Copper: "Why didnt you stop when we had our lights on behind you"

me "Because I deemed it unsafe to stop in a clearway hence why I stopped here"

Copper "Okay fair point, do you know why your tyres were making that noise"

me "The noise is created by the blocks on the tread on the tyres breaking and making traction independantly of one another, other wise known as block shuffle"

Copper "You mean you were about to lose traction, what caused you to get into this position"

me "I was on autopilot on the way to my mates house when I realised his car was at mine, and knowing the turn in of my vehicle would allow me to change direction safley, adjusted my exit off the roundabout"

Blah blah address, blah blah your car, blah blah, free to go.

And this Police officer was really nice about the whole thing, he new what I was doing ;)

Then booted it with wheelspin back onto bypass, with him trying to keep up ;)

Arent the rozzers great ;)

[NikB]

Originally posted by Vez
"1) I was adjusting my sunvisor (which I actually was in a comedy fashion) "

:D :D :D
LMAO

How do you adjust your visor in a comedy fashion?

Nik

[Vez]

Okay...how to adjust sun visor in a police pissing off way...

1) Raise hand nomally to sunvisor....no evidence of the bird yet.

2) Grip sunvisor with Middle finger forward of sunvisor, whilst all other fingers go behind sunvisor...(do this with hand to simulate)

3) Move sunvisor to position desired.

You see your middle finger gets shown off quite nicely on the front of the sunvisor ;), technically you are gripping your sunvisor without using your thumb!

:)

[NikB]

I will have to try that one out.

It's a kind of variation of the one where you scratch your face with your middle finger.

Nik

[Vez]

Yeah but thats a bit old....

Sunvisor is my own variation although another is pushing your glasses up using your middle digit :P